Best summer ’17 memories

The summer has reached its end and I can’t believe how fast it want by. It’s crazy. So I thought that I would quickly sum it all up and show you some of my best memories that I have of this summer. No long talk, let’s get into it!

All of these were taken on my trip to Poland and with some of the most amazing people I met there. The first one marks my first plane ride all on my own, I was so anxious but also excited for it. I remember how I got to the airport at the last minute. I thought that I was really late. I was supposed to be up at 4.30 and in the airport at 4.50 to have some extra time, just in case. But instead I woke up at 5 in the morning. I got ready in 5 minutes and grabbed my breakfast on the way. But I still made it in time (and had to wait for over 10 min to get on the plane, and then another 15 min sat on the plane before it took off).

Second and forth one were taken in Warsaw when we had hours to spend in the city. The second one was when we got a little bored and just started to take some photos of each other (I am there with Anastasia, another girl from the estonian group and whom I got quite close to). We were discovering the old town and having lunch in a quite traditional Polish restaurant before heading back to get our luggage and heading to Nieborow with rest of the group.

And the third one was taken in the middle of the polish youth exchange with my babes from Macedonia and the best guy from Romania. They were few of those who I got really close to. |09.-17.06.17 |

Those two photos were taken on a little event called Photowalk X VLND what was basically an event for photographers to discover some new interesting places in Viljandi (my hometown), take cool interesting photos of each other (or someone doing their magic) and to, also, get to know other photographers around this area. I had so much fun, and to be honest I got more comfortable shooting in public. In a sense that I get super self-conscious when I am photographing something/someone and when people are around. But I got over myself there haha. | 22.07.17 |

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At a family picnic, holding my little baby cousin. She is the most adorable little one, but also the sassiest one haha. She’s such a princess.
For me, family is everything. And just sitting down in a quiet little place near the woods and a lake was just perfect. I got to spend time with relatives I hadn’t seen for a little while and it was so good to just spend some quality time with them. | 30.07.17 |

All taken on my latest Erasmus+ project in Laidze, Latvia.

First photo. On Latvian night where the people showed us old Latvian traditions. Which one of them was to put honey in a fire. On the second photo there is our favorite cat from the trip – we named him Simba – who always followed us around.

The third and fourth photo are taken in the first official day of the project during/between some bonding games with some awesome people from the estonian team. 🙂 | 06.-14.08.17 |

These were taken for an article for a local online magazine VLND and I had the pleasure to photograph the IX dance and song festival for people with special needs. It was so heartwarming to see so many people full of love and joy even though the weather wasn’t on our side at all times. They danced and sang through the rain and not once complained. When I left the event I was so happy and excited that it was ME whose photos of this amazing event, were published and seen by so many people. | 26.08.17 |

So, these were some of the brightest but there were so many good ones that this would go on and on for ever. I had a really good time travelling around, spending time with some old friends but also with friends I made during my time abroad. Right at this moment, I couldn’t imagine my life without them. It was a summer full of laughter, happiness, the ups and the downs. But it was definitely a good one.

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Magic of Purple

Hello! The long waited post is finally here! I got the photos a while back actually but WordPress has been playing with me because for some reason the photos had a terrible quality each time I have tried to upload them here. And yes, They look absolutely beautiful and high quality everywhere else.

But here are some of my favorite photos from my photoshoot. Enjoy and let me know what do you think of this new and totally different hairstyle!

Photographer: Ako Lehemets

Heihopsti! Ja ongi see kauaoodatud postitus teie ees! Ma sain pildid juba pĂ€ris tĂŒkk aega tagasi, aga kuna mina ja WordPress pole viimasel ajal just kĂ”ige paremini lĂ€bi saanud siis oli pisike probleem – nimelt iga kord kui ĂŒritasin neid pilte siia ĂŒles panna, siis kvaliteet oli nii halb, et ma lihtsalt ei suutnud veenda ennast neid ĂŒles panema. Ning jah, pildid on muidu super kvaliteediga nii et viga peab kuskil siin leiduma. Iseasi, aga kus siis ikkagi tĂ€psemalt.

Igastahes, siin on siis mÔned minu lemmikud pildid, mis nÀdala eest tehtud said. Anna teada kuidas pildid meeldivad ning ka mis arvad sellest uuest ja totaalselt teistsugusest soengust!

Fotograaf: Ako Lehemets

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I have been keeping a secret..

I need to confess something. I have been hiding something from all of you but I can’t keep it inside anymore. I wasn’t planning to talk about it for a long time but I am afraid what will happen if I don’t talk about it.

The reason I haven’t been online that much for the past few months is because on April 5th I was officially diagnosed with JIA aka Juvenile Ideopathical Artritis.

Who is not familiar with it then shortly said it’s a condition where my own body has started attacking my joints. For me it has caused severe pain in both of my wrists and knees. And this makes even the most simple and most everyday things harder for me than they are for most people.

I wish I could say that it only hurts me physically. It plays with my mind and tests my own limits. Because every morning I wake up and I feel it. I feel it everywhere. It breaks my heart because I had to give up some things that I love. There are so many days when I was ready to give up and not fight it because I lost a lot because of this. I lost some people. But then I have to remind myself that hopefully gets easier. That one day I will be better. And there are only people next to me who truly care about me and love me with their whole heart.

I have been also in a role of the friend who sees the other person experience this. And it isn’t easy, I get it. It breaks the spirit of the person. If you have been friends for a long time and remember the person as the most happiest one then you have to be prepared for it to change. Because it will. There will be days when they close up and stay away from everything. And there will be days when they want to be around people as much as possible. In that case, please don’t close them out. I beg you. It makes their world even worse because the nasty thoughts will get the best of them.

I can’t never blame the people if it’s too much for them to handle. Every day with this is different. Some days I do feel like I could fight the world and other days I feel like I never want to wake up. It’s harsh to say but this is the truth.

So. This is the conclusion of what has been going on and what I am dealing with right now. And to finish it then I ask you to be kind to people around you, you can never know what is happening to them. And when you see that something is wrong then just be there for the person, offer your shoulder when you feel they need to cry or just an ear to listen them out. And never close them out. It will only make everything worse.

If you have any questions about it or want to know more about then don’t be afraid to ask. You can always write in here or if you want to talk privately then you can write me in any of my social media accounts.

And for any disclaimers out there then this post is not for seeking attention but showing others that it is important to speak up. To make talking about your mental and physical health okay and normal, not as a tabu thing.

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Ma tahan midagi ĂŒles tunnistada. Ma olen seda varjanud peaaegu, et kĂ”igi eest, aga ma ei suuda seda enam teha. Ma ei plaaninud sellest veel pikka aega rÀÀkida, kuid ma kardan natuke, mis vĂ”ib juhtuda kui ma seda ei tee.
PĂ”hjus, miks ma olen viimase paari kuu jooksul olnud netist rohkem eemal on see, et 5ndal aprillil diagnoositi mind juveniilse ideopaatilise artriidiga (ehk lĂŒhidalt öeldes JIA).

Kes pole sellega tuttav siis lĂŒhidalt öeldes on see seisund, kus mu enda keha on pöördunud iseenda vastu ning selle tulemusena hakanud mu liigiseid rĂŒndama. Minu jaoks pĂ”hjustab see Ă€gedat valu nii mĂ”lemates randmetes ning pĂ”lvedes. Ning selle tulemusena vĂ”ivad mĂ”ned kĂ”ige lihtsamad ja igapĂ€evasemad asjad mulle raskeks osutada.

Ma soovin, et ma saaksin öelda, et see pĂ”hjustab valu mulle ainult fĂŒĂŒsilisel tasandil. See mĂ€ngib mu mĂ”tetega ning paneb mind igapĂ€evaselt proovile. Kuna iga hommik ma Ă€rkan ĂŒles ja ma tunnen seda. Ma tunnen seda lĂ”pmatut valu igal pool. Ning see murrab mu sĂŒdame, kuna olen olnud sunnitud loobuma mĂ”nest asjast, mida ma armastan. On olnud nii palju pĂ€evi, kus ma tunnen, et ma lihtsalt ei jĂ”ua enam vĂ”idelda selle vastu, kuna see on vĂ”tnud minult juba nii palju. Ma olen kaotanud enda kĂ”rvalt inimesi, kes ma soovin, et poleks lahkunud. Kuid sel hetkel ma pean hakkama endale jĂ€llegi meelde tuletama, et on veel nii palju mille pĂ€rast vĂ”idelda ning et ehk lĂ”puks tasub see kĂ€ik Ă€ra. Ehk lĂ€heb siis kĂ”ik kergemaks. Ehk ĂŒhel pĂ€eval on kĂ”ik parem. Ning sel hetkel seisavad minu kĂ”rval inimesed, mes tĂ”eliselt hoolivad minust and armastavad mind kogu oma sĂŒdamega.

Ma saan öeda, et ma mĂ”istan neid, kelle jaoks on seda kĂ”ike liiga palju, et lihtsalt olemas olla minu jaoks, kuna ma olen olnud selles olukorras, kus ma olen sĂ”bra rollis. Ma siiani olen. Nii et ma saan sellest aru. See on raske. See murrab selle inimese vaimu, kes seda lĂ€bi elab. See inimene muutub niivĂ”rd palju, et vĂ”ib mĂ”nele tunduda lausa vÔÔrana. Kui enne oli see inimene pidavelt rÔÔmus ja positiivne inimene, kes uskus maailma headusesse siis ole valmis, et see muutub. On pĂ€evi, kus see inimene tahab olla ainult ĂŒksina ning on sulgenud oma mĂ”tetesse. Ning on pĂ€evi, kus ainuke asi mida ta ĂŒle kĂ”ige tahab, on olla inimeste keskel. Ning see on hetk, kus sa ei tohiks inimest kĂ”rvale heita. Kuna need mĂ”tted, mis hakkavad sel juhul ligi tulema, ei ole ilusad ega Ă”nnelikud.

Enda seisukohalt saan öelda, et see poleks minust aus, kui ma sĂŒĂŒdistaks neid inimesi lahkumises, kui see on liiga palju nende jaoks. Kuna see mis toimub mu enda peas on selline, kuhu ma ei tahaks kedagi lasta. See pole ilus. MĂ”ned pĂ€evad on sellised, kus ma tunnen, et ma suudan kogu maailmale vastu olla ning teistel pĂ€evadel on ainukeseks mĂ”tteks see, et ma ei tahaks enam kunagi ĂŒles Ă€rgata. Seda on karm öelda, kuid see on tĂ”si. 

Niisiis. See on siis kokkuvĂ”te sellest, mis on viimasel ajal toimunud ning millega ma pean hetkel hakkama saama. Ning lĂ”petuseks tahan veel paluda, et oleksid lahke ja sĂ”bralik nende vastu, kes on su ĂŒmber, sa ei vĂ”i kunagi teada, mis nende elus toimuda vĂ”ib ning paar head sĂ”na vĂ”ib olla nende pĂ€eva tipphetk. Ja kui sa nĂ€ed, et midagi pole Ă”igesti siis lihtsalt ole seal selle inimese jaoks, paku oma Ă”lga, millel nutta vĂ”i kĂ”rva, mis lihtsalt kuulaks, mis vaevab nende sĂŒdant. Ära kunagi tĂ”uka neid eemale. See teeb ainult asja hullemaks.

Kui sul on mingeid kĂŒsimusi vĂ”id tahad rohkem selle teema kohta teada, siis vĂ”ib mulle alati siia ja ka mu sotsiaalmeedia kontodel privaatselt kirjutada.

PS. Mainin ka Àra, et see postitus pole mÔeldud selle jaoks, et otsida tÀhelepanu vÔi haletsust, vaid selleks, et nÀidata ka teistele, et sellisest asjadest rÀÀkimine on tÀhtis. Et see pole mingisugune tabu asi, millest keegi ei tohiks rÀÀkida. 

Kust mind veel leida| YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook 

#VantagePoint

I have always been a free spirit. I love to live life freely, just do what makes me happy and leave all the negativity behind me. I love to travel, to discover new places and culture, to meet new people and make new friends. That’s who I have always been.

And travelling is one of my favorite things in the world. It makes me happy. It lets me discover something new and exciting. And all the beauty I can capture to my brain forever. So recently where ever I go a camera is always a must for me. Some may think that those who take a lot of photos when travelling and put them up somewhere, just want to show that they have been there or something along those lines.

But for me it’s more of catching a beautiful moment I want to look back in the future. And carrying a hefty camera is always not the best choice. So a little compact camera that you can fit everywhere and offers you an amazing quality photos comes really handy. And this is exactly what the Light L16 Camera by Light.co can do for you! I was introduced to this camera recently and so far it seems like a dream for free spirits just like me so I am beyond excited to be a part of the #VantagePoint project!

Where to find me | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat – greeteratsep

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Photography Talk

I feel like I haven’t talked much about why or when I started photography, you just kind of saw it come up in blog just out of the blue. But it’s a really big part of my life and it’s something that I want to share with the world. It’s my form of art.

Ma tunnen, et ma rÀÀgin selles pisikeses blogipesas ĂŒsna palju oma elust ja sellega seonduvatest mĂ”tetest, kuid ma pole kunagi seletanud kuidas ma hakkasin fotograafiaga tegelema ja ĂŒldse miks. See lihtsalt ĂŒhel pĂ€eval ilmus siia nagu puhtast Ă”hust. VĂ”i noh tegelikult mitte tĂ€ielikult, aga noh, saate ju aru 😀
Kuid fotograafial on praegusel hetkel minu elus ĂŒsnagi suur roll niiet ma tahan seda jagada teiega. Enda kunstivormi, midagi mis kuulub ainult mulle.

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Why? As you already know, I am quite an artsy person but getting the inspiration to draw is not the same as it used to be when I was younger. And dance, well, I love it but it’s not my art. It’s someone else’s creation, not mine. But I want to create something that is truly and only mine. No one else’s. I can create and develop the image I have in my mind, the images and creations that come to me.

Miks? Kui oled mind juba natuke pikemalt jĂ€lginud siis ilmselt tead juba, et ma olen ĂŒrna kunstiline inimene, kuid kahjuks pole mul viimasel ajal olnud absoluutselt mitte mingit inspriratsiooni joonistamise jaoks vĂ”rreldes sellega, mis see kunagi oli. Ning tantsimisega on lugu nii, et see pole minu loodud kunst. See on kellegi teise kujutlus ja visioon, mitte minu. Kuid ma tahan luua midagi, mis on ainult minu ning loodud minu nĂ€gemuse jĂ€rgi.

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When? I really liked taking photos and making videos even when I was younger, just for fun with my friends. But then life got into the way and I sort of lost my passion for it until last year when I attended in a media camp where I and a group of other young creatives made our own news show. There was also a group of radio and blog people but I was in a television group. And I loved it there. I got my passion back. I got back what I loved and learned to be better. After the camp I just took photos with my phone as I didn’t have a proper working camera but as for my birthday and graduation gift I got my first DSLR camera 3 months later. I couldn’t be more happier. And after that I started learned everything about my camera and how to work with it to create what I have in my mind. And about six months later aka today, I am still learning. I am learning to be better and be my own creative mind.

Millal? Mulle on alati meeldinud teha pilte ja filmida, lihtslt lĂ”bu pĂ€rast koos sĂ”pradega. Kuid kuna tuli teisi asju ette siis see kirg fotograafia vastu kadus lihtsalt kuidagi Ă€ra. Kuid see tuli tagasi, kui osalesin ĂŒhes multimeedia laagris möödunud aprillis. See oli koht kus koos teiste noorte loojatega pidime kĂ”igest 2 pĂ€evaga suutma teha oma uudistesaate ehk siis kavandama ning vĂ€lja mĂ”tlema lood, valima vĂ€lja neist parimad, filmida ning lĂ”puks ka monteerida kĂ”ik kokku. Ning ma leidsin taas selle pisiku nii fotograafia kui ka filmiduse vastu (niivĂ”rd-kuivĂ”rd vĂ”ib minu pisikesi videojuppe nimetada just filmiduseks, aga las see jÀÀb, see oli parim, mis ma selle aja kohta oskasin :D). Igastahes September oli lĂ”puks see aeg kui sain lĂ”puks oma esimese ihaldatud ning kauaoodatud peegelkaamera. Ning pĂ€rast seda olen lihtsalt Ă”ppinud ja katsetanud kĂ”ike ise – minu arust kĂ”ige parem Ă”ppimise viis. Kuid ma Ă”pin iga pĂ€evaga jĂ€rjest rohkem ning saan ka jĂ€rk-jĂ€rgult jĂ€rjest paremaks.

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Since I don’t want to make this post too long I am going to stop here for today. But be sure to let me know if you want part 2 or 3 where I share my tips, what I have learned so far and how to get the most out of your gear. 🙂

Igastahes, kuna ma ei taha seda postitust ajada liiga pikaks siis ma panen siia nĂŒĂŒd pausi. 😀 Kuid kui tahate rohkem teada sellest kuidas midagi teha ning mingisuguseid nippe teada saada siis andke teada ja tulevad ka jĂ€rgmised osad sellele postitusele. 🙂

Where to find me | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat – greeteratsep

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Fitting in

Why is it that some people are more popular than others? Because they are more beautiful or smarter? Or is it just something that makes everyone want to be around them?

I am definitely the one who feels out of place all the time, like I don’t fit in anywhere anymore, especially in school. Especially since fall.

You know why?

Oh of course not. How could you? I rarely mention that. It’s because all my friends are in the same school as I am but in different classes. So that mans that I almost never see them. And that’s where my problem is. I am just drifting more further away from them as the days pass by. They find new friends. They move on.

But I don’t know how to do that.

I don’t know how to get so close with someone who I can tell them all my secrets and know that they keep them. I don’t trust people.

So I am alone. I spend most of my weekend at home behind my computer or reading. Of course it may sound so cozy and nice but when it’s been like this for over eight months, you’ll get really lonely.

I can never blame them. They didn’t do anything wrong.

But I want to fit in. I want to go out with my friends on weekends.
I want to laugh from the heart. I want to laugh until my eyes are tearing up. Until my face and stomach hurt from laughing.

I haven’t done that for so long. And I really miss it.

If you have any suggestions or tips on how to get over these kinds of feelings, I am all ears.

Where to find me | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat – greeteratsep

Miks on nii, et mÔned on lihtsalt populaarsemad kui teised? Sest nad on ilusamad vÔi targemad? VÔi on neis lihtsalt midagi lisaks, mis tahab panna teisi nende lÀheduses olema?

Ma olen ĂŒks nendest, kes tunneb, et nagu ei sobi vĂ€ga teiste hulka, eriti just koolis. Eriti alates sĂŒgisest.

Tead miks?

Loomulikult mitte. Aga kuidas sa saaksidki? Ma ei rÀÀgi sellest just kuigi palju. Igastahes, kĂ”ik, kellega varem suhtlesin, on nĂŒĂŒd kĂŒll ikka samas koolis, aga erinevates suundades ehk siis ega neid vĂ€ga ikkagi ei nĂ€e. Ja siit saabki mu probleem alguse. Ma tunnen, et ma eemaldun neist iga pĂ€evaga ĂŒha kaugemale. Ja nad leiavad uued sĂ”brad. Nad liiguvad edasi.

Loomulikult ma ei arvagi, et kogu maailm peaks minu ĂŒmber keerlema, ma pole nii enesekeskne. Ma tean, et neil on on oma elu ja see lihtsalt on nii. Kuid see ei tĂ€henda, et ma igatseks neid. See ei muuda kunagi seda tunnet.

Aga ma lihtsalt ei oska seda.

Ma ei oska inimesi usaldada, mistĂ”ttu on ka raskem sĂ”pru saada. ÜkskĂ”ik kui vĂ€ga ma ka tahaks.

Niiet ma olen ĂŒksi. Ma veedan peaaegu iga nĂ€dalavahetuse kodus kas siis arvuti vĂ”i raamatu taga. See vĂ”ib tunduda mugav ja tore, aga pikapeale see enam selline pole. Ning see viib mind pideva ĂŒksinduse tundeni.

Aga ma tahan sobida kuhugi. Ma tahan olla vabal ajal koos sĂ”pradega. Ma tahan naerda kogu sĂŒdamest. Ma tahan naera, kuni mul hakkavad pisarad voolama. Kuni mu nĂ€gu ja kĂ”ht juba valutavad.

Ma pole seda nii pikka aega teinud. Ma igatsen seda tohutult.

Kui teil on mingisugust nĂ”u mulle, kuidas saada sellest tundest ĂŒle vĂ”i nippe kuidas hakata inimesi uuesti rohkem usaldama, siis ma olen ĂŒks suurkĂ”rv.

Kust mind veel leida | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat – greeteratsep