Best summer ’17 memories

The summer has reached its end and I can’t believe how fast it want by. It’s crazy. So I thought that I would quickly sum it all up and show you some of my best memories that I have of this summer. No long talk, let’s get into it!

All of these were taken on my trip to Poland and with some of the most amazing people I met there. The first one marks my first plane ride all on my own, I was so anxious but also excited for it. I remember how I got to the airport at the last minute. I thought that I was really late. I was supposed to be up at 4.30 and in the airport at 4.50 to have some extra time, just in case. But instead I woke up at 5 in the morning. I got ready in 5 minutes and grabbed my breakfast on the way. But I still made it in time (and had to wait for over 10 min to get on the plane, and then another 15 min sat on the plane before it took off).

Second and forth one were taken in Warsaw when we had hours to spend in the city. The second one was when we got a little bored and just started to take some photos of each other (I am there with Anastasia, another girl from the estonian group and whom I got quite close to). We were discovering the old town and having lunch in a quite traditional Polish restaurant before heading back to get our luggage and heading to Nieborow with rest of the group.

And the third one was taken in the middle of the polish youth exchange with my babes from Macedonia and the best guy from Romania. They were few of those who I got really close to. |09.-17.06.17 |

Those two photos were taken on a little event called Photowalk X VLND what was basically an event for photographers to discover some new interesting places in Viljandi (my hometown), take cool interesting photos of each other (or someone doing their magic) and to, also, get to know other photographers around this area. I had so much fun, and to be honest I got more comfortable shooting in public. In a sense that I get super self-conscious when I am photographing something/someone and when people are around. But I got over myself there haha. | 22.07.17 |


At a family picnic, holding my little baby cousin. She is the most adorable little one, but also the sassiest one haha. She’s such a princess.
For me, family is everything. And just sitting down in a quiet little place near the woods and a lake was just perfect. I got to spend time with relatives I hadn’t seen for a little while and it was so good to just spend some quality time with them. | 30.07.17 |

All taken on my latest Erasmus+ project in Laidze, Latvia.

First photo. On Latvian night where the people showed us old Latvian traditions. Which one of them was to put honey in a fire. On the second photo there is our favorite cat from the trip – we named him Simba – who always followed us around.

The third and fourth photo are taken in the first official day of the project during/between some bonding games with some awesome people from the estonian team. 🙂 | 06.-14.08.17 |

These were taken for an article for a local online magazine VLND and I had the pleasure to photograph the IX dance and song festival for people with special needs. It was so heartwarming to see so many people full of love and joy even though the weather wasn’t on our side at all times. They danced and sang through the rain and not once complained. When I left the event I was so happy and excited that it was ME whose photos of this amazing event, were published and seen by so many people. | 26.08.17 |

So, these were some of the brightest but there were so many good ones that this would go on and on for ever. I had a really good time travelling around, spending time with some old friends but also with friends I made during my time abroad. Right at this moment, I couldn’t imagine my life without them. It was a summer full of laughter, happiness, the ups and the downs. But it was definitely a good one.


Magic of Purple

Hello! The long waited post is finally here! I got the photos a while back actually but WordPress has been playing with me because for some reason the photos had a terrible quality each time I have tried to upload them here. And yes, They look absolutely beautiful and high quality everywhere else.

But here are some of my favorite photos from my photoshoot. Enjoy and let me know what do you think of this new and totally different hairstyle!

Photographer: Ako Lehemets

Heihopsti! Ja ongi see kauaoodatud postitus teie ees! Ma sain pildid juba pĂ€ris tĂŒkk aega tagasi, aga kuna mina ja WordPress pole viimasel ajal just kĂ”ige paremini lĂ€bi saanud siis oli pisike probleem – nimelt iga kord kui ĂŒritasin neid pilte siia ĂŒles panna, siis kvaliteet oli nii halb, et ma lihtsalt ei suutnud veenda ennast neid ĂŒles panema. Ning jah, pildid on muidu super kvaliteediga nii et viga peab kuskil siin leiduma. Iseasi, aga kus siis ikkagi tĂ€psemalt.

Igastahes, siin on siis mÔned minu lemmikud pildid, mis nÀdala eest tehtud said. Anna teada kuidas pildid meeldivad ning ka mis arvad sellest uuest ja totaalselt teistsugusest soengust!

Fotograaf: Ako Lehemets


I have been keeping a secret..

I need to confess something. I have been hiding something from all of you but I can’t keep it inside anymore. I wasn’t planning to talk about it for a long time but I am afraid what will happen if I don’t talk about it.

The reason I haven’t been online that much for the past few months is because on April 5th I was officially diagnosed with JIA aka Juvenile Ideopathical Artritis.

Who is not familiar with it then shortly said it’s a condition where my own body has started attacking my joints. For me it has caused severe pain in both of my wrists and knees. And this makes even the most simple and most everyday things harder for me than they are for most people.

I wish I could say that it only hurts me physically. It plays with my mind and tests my own limits. Because every morning I wake up and I feel it. I feel it everywhere. It breaks my heart because I had to give up some things that I love. There are so many days when I was ready to give up and not fight it because I lost a lot because of this. I lost some people. But then I have to remind myself that hopefully gets easier. That one day I will be better. And there are only people next to me who truly care about me and love me with their whole heart.

I have been also in a role of the friend who sees the other person experience this. And it isn’t easy, I get it. It breaks the spirit of the person. If you have been friends for a long time and remember the person as the most happiest one then you have to be prepared for it to change. Because it will. There will be days when they close up and stay away from everything. And there will be days when they want to be around people as much as possible. In that case, please don’t close them out. I beg you. It makes their world even worse because the nasty thoughts will get the best of them.

I can’t never blame the people if it’s too much for them to handle. Every day with this is different. Some days I do feel like I could fight the world and other days I feel like I never want to wake up. It’s harsh to say but this is the truth.

So. This is the conclusion of what has been going on and what I am dealing with right now. And to finish it then I ask you to be kind to people around you, you can never know what is happening to them. And when you see that something is wrong then just be there for the person, offer your shoulder when you feel they need to cry or just an ear to listen them out. And never close them out. It will only make everything worse.

If you have any questions about it or want to know more about then don’t be afraid to ask. You can always write in here or if you want to talk privately then you can write me in any of my social media accounts.

And for any disclaimers out there then this post is not for seeking attention but showing others that it is important to speak up. To make talking about your mental and physical health okay and normal, not as a tabu thing.

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Ma tahan midagi ĂŒles tunnistada. Ma olen seda varjanud peaaegu, et kĂ”igi eest, aga ma ei suuda seda enam teha. Ma ei plaaninud sellest veel pikka aega rÀÀkida, kuid ma kardan natuke, mis vĂ”ib juhtuda kui ma seda ei tee.
PĂ”hjus, miks ma olen viimase paari kuu jooksul olnud netist rohkem eemal on see, et 5ndal aprillil diagnoositi mind juveniilse ideopaatilise artriidiga (ehk lĂŒhidalt öeldes JIA).

Kes pole sellega tuttav siis lĂŒhidalt öeldes on see seisund, kus mu enda keha on pöördunud iseenda vastu ning selle tulemusena hakanud mu liigiseid rĂŒndama. Minu jaoks pĂ”hjustab see Ă€gedat valu nii mĂ”lemates randmetes ning pĂ”lvedes. Ning selle tulemusena vĂ”ivad mĂ”ned kĂ”ige lihtsamad ja igapĂ€evasemad asjad mulle raskeks osutada.

Ma soovin, et ma saaksin öelda, et see pĂ”hjustab valu mulle ainult fĂŒĂŒsilisel tasandil. See mĂ€ngib mu mĂ”tetega ning paneb mind igapĂ€evaselt proovile. Kuna iga hommik ma Ă€rkan ĂŒles ja ma tunnen seda. Ma tunnen seda lĂ”pmatut valu igal pool. Ning see murrab mu sĂŒdame, kuna olen olnud sunnitud loobuma mĂ”nest asjast, mida ma armastan. On olnud nii palju pĂ€evi, kus ma tunnen, et ma lihtsalt ei jĂ”ua enam vĂ”idelda selle vastu, kuna see on vĂ”tnud minult juba nii palju. Ma olen kaotanud enda kĂ”rvalt inimesi, kes ma soovin, et poleks lahkunud. Kuid sel hetkel ma pean hakkama endale jĂ€llegi meelde tuletama, et on veel nii palju mille pĂ€rast vĂ”idelda ning et ehk lĂ”puks tasub see kĂ€ik Ă€ra. Ehk lĂ€heb siis kĂ”ik kergemaks. Ehk ĂŒhel pĂ€eval on kĂ”ik parem. Ning sel hetkel seisavad minu kĂ”rval inimesed, mes tĂ”eliselt hoolivad minust and armastavad mind kogu oma sĂŒdamega.

Ma saan öeda, et ma mĂ”istan neid, kelle jaoks on seda kĂ”ike liiga palju, et lihtsalt olemas olla minu jaoks, kuna ma olen olnud selles olukorras, kus ma olen sĂ”bra rollis. Ma siiani olen. Nii et ma saan sellest aru. See on raske. See murrab selle inimese vaimu, kes seda lĂ€bi elab. See inimene muutub niivĂ”rd palju, et vĂ”ib mĂ”nele tunduda lausa vÔÔrana. Kui enne oli see inimene pidavelt rÔÔmus ja positiivne inimene, kes uskus maailma headusesse siis ole valmis, et see muutub. On pĂ€evi, kus see inimene tahab olla ainult ĂŒksina ning on sulgenud oma mĂ”tetesse. Ning on pĂ€evi, kus ainuke asi mida ta ĂŒle kĂ”ige tahab, on olla inimeste keskel. Ning see on hetk, kus sa ei tohiks inimest kĂ”rvale heita. Kuna need mĂ”tted, mis hakkavad sel juhul ligi tulema, ei ole ilusad ega Ă”nnelikud.

Enda seisukohalt saan öelda, et see poleks minust aus, kui ma sĂŒĂŒdistaks neid inimesi lahkumises, kui see on liiga palju nende jaoks. Kuna see mis toimub mu enda peas on selline, kuhu ma ei tahaks kedagi lasta. See pole ilus. MĂ”ned pĂ€evad on sellised, kus ma tunnen, et ma suudan kogu maailmale vastu olla ning teistel pĂ€evadel on ainukeseks mĂ”tteks see, et ma ei tahaks enam kunagi ĂŒles Ă€rgata. Seda on karm öelda, kuid see on tĂ”si. 

Niisiis. See on siis kokkuvĂ”te sellest, mis on viimasel ajal toimunud ning millega ma pean hetkel hakkama saama. Ning lĂ”petuseks tahan veel paluda, et oleksid lahke ja sĂ”bralik nende vastu, kes on su ĂŒmber, sa ei vĂ”i kunagi teada, mis nende elus toimuda vĂ”ib ning paar head sĂ”na vĂ”ib olla nende pĂ€eva tipphetk. Ja kui sa nĂ€ed, et midagi pole Ă”igesti siis lihtsalt ole seal selle inimese jaoks, paku oma Ă”lga, millel nutta vĂ”i kĂ”rva, mis lihtsalt kuulaks, mis vaevab nende sĂŒdant. Ära kunagi tĂ”uka neid eemale. See teeb ainult asja hullemaks.

Kui sul on mingeid kĂŒsimusi vĂ”id tahad rohkem selle teema kohta teada, siis vĂ”ib mulle alati siia ja ka mu sotsiaalmeedia kontodel privaatselt kirjutada.

PS. Mainin ka Àra, et see postitus pole mÔeldud selle jaoks, et otsida tÀhelepanu vÔi haletsust, vaid selleks, et nÀidata ka teistele, et sellisest asjadest rÀÀkimine on tÀhtis. Et see pole mingisugune tabu asi, millest keegi ei tohiks rÀÀkida. 

Kust mind veel leida| YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook 

Photography Talk

I feel like I haven’t talked much about why or when I started photography, you just kind of saw it come up in blog just out of the blue. But it’s a really big part of my life and it’s something that I want to share with the world. It’s my form of art.

Ma tunnen, et ma rÀÀgin selles pisikeses blogipesas ĂŒsna palju oma elust ja sellega seonduvatest mĂ”tetest, kuid ma pole kunagi seletanud kuidas ma hakkasin fotograafiaga tegelema ja ĂŒldse miks. See lihtsalt ĂŒhel pĂ€eval ilmus siia nagu puhtast Ă”hust. VĂ”i noh tegelikult mitte tĂ€ielikult, aga noh, saate ju aru 😀
Kuid fotograafial on praegusel hetkel minu elus ĂŒsnagi suur roll niiet ma tahan seda jagada teiega. Enda kunstivormi, midagi mis kuulub ainult mulle.


Why? As you already know, I am quite an artsy person but getting the inspiration to draw is not the same as it used to be when I was younger. And dance, well, I love it but it’s not my art. It’s someone else’s creation, not mine. But I want to create something that is truly and only mine. No one else’s. I can create and develop the image I have in my mind, the images and creations that come to me.

Miks? Kui oled mind juba natuke pikemalt jĂ€lginud siis ilmselt tead juba, et ma olen ĂŒrna kunstiline inimene, kuid kahjuks pole mul viimasel ajal olnud absoluutselt mitte mingit inspriratsiooni joonistamise jaoks vĂ”rreldes sellega, mis see kunagi oli. Ning tantsimisega on lugu nii, et see pole minu loodud kunst. See on kellegi teise kujutlus ja visioon, mitte minu. Kuid ma tahan luua midagi, mis on ainult minu ning loodud minu nĂ€gemuse jĂ€rgi.


When? I really liked taking photos and making videos even when I was younger, just for fun with my friends. But then life got into the way and I sort of lost my passion for it until last year when I attended in a media camp where I and a group of other young creatives made our own news show. There was also a group of radio and blog people but I was in a television group. And I loved it there. I got my passion back. I got back what I loved and learned to be better. After the camp I just took photos with my phone as I didn’t have a proper working camera but as for my birthday and graduation gift I got my first DSLR camera 3 months later. I couldn’t be more happier. And after that I started learned everything about my camera and how to work with it to create what I have in my mind. And about six months later aka today, I am still learning. I am learning to be better and be my own creative mind.

Millal? Mulle on alati meeldinud teha pilte ja filmida, lihtslt lĂ”bu pĂ€rast koos sĂ”pradega. Kuid kuna tuli teisi asju ette siis see kirg fotograafia vastu kadus lihtsalt kuidagi Ă€ra. Kuid see tuli tagasi, kui osalesin ĂŒhes multimeedia laagris möödunud aprillis. See oli koht kus koos teiste noorte loojatega pidime kĂ”igest 2 pĂ€evaga suutma teha oma uudistesaate ehk siis kavandama ning vĂ€lja mĂ”tlema lood, valima vĂ€lja neist parimad, filmida ning lĂ”puks ka monteerida kĂ”ik kokku. Ning ma leidsin taas selle pisiku nii fotograafia kui ka filmiduse vastu (niivĂ”rd-kuivĂ”rd vĂ”ib minu pisikesi videojuppe nimetada just filmiduseks, aga las see jÀÀb, see oli parim, mis ma selle aja kohta oskasin :D). Igastahes September oli lĂ”puks see aeg kui sain lĂ”puks oma esimese ihaldatud ning kauaoodatud peegelkaamera. Ning pĂ€rast seda olen lihtsalt Ă”ppinud ja katsetanud kĂ”ike ise – minu arust kĂ”ige parem Ă”ppimise viis. Kuid ma Ă”pin iga pĂ€evaga jĂ€rjest rohkem ning saan ka jĂ€rk-jĂ€rgult jĂ€rjest paremaks.


Since I don’t want to make this post too long I am going to stop here for today. But be sure to let me know if you want part 2 or 3 where I share my tips, what I have learned so far and how to get the most out of your gear. 🙂

Igastahes, kuna ma ei taha seda postitust ajada liiga pikaks siis ma panen siia nĂŒĂŒd pausi. 😀 Kuid kui tahate rohkem teada sellest kuidas midagi teha ning mingisuguseid nippe teada saada siis andke teada ja tulevad ka jĂ€rgmised osad sellele postitusele. 🙂

Where to find me | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat – greeteratsep

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Fitting in

Why is it that some people are more popular than others? Because they are more beautiful or smarter? Or is it just something that makes everyone want to be around them?

I am definitely the one who feels out of place all the time, like I don’t fit in anywhere anymore, especially in school. Especially since fall.

You know why?

Oh of course not. How could you? I rarely mention that. It’s because all my friends are in the same school as I am but in different classes. So that mans that I almost never see them. And that’s where my problem is. I am just drifting more further away from them as the days pass by. They find new friends. They move on.

But I don’t know how to do that.

I don’t know how to get so close with someone who I can tell them all my secrets and know that they keep them. I don’t trust people.

So I am alone. I spend most of my weekend at home behind my computer or reading. Of course it may sound so cozy and nice but when it’s been like this for over eight months, you’ll get really lonely.

I can never blame them. They didn’t do anything wrong.

But I want to fit in. I want to go out with my friends on weekends.
I want to laugh from the heart. I want to laugh until my eyes are tearing up. Until my face and stomach hurt from laughing.

I haven’t done that for so long. And I really miss it.

If you have any suggestions or tips on how to get over these kinds of feelings, I am all ears.

Where to find me | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat – greeteratsep

Miks on nii, et mÔned on lihtsalt populaarsemad kui teised? Sest nad on ilusamad vÔi targemad? VÔi on neis lihtsalt midagi lisaks, mis tahab panna teisi nende lÀheduses olema?

Ma olen ĂŒks nendest, kes tunneb, et nagu ei sobi vĂ€ga teiste hulka, eriti just koolis. Eriti alates sĂŒgisest.

Tead miks?

Loomulikult mitte. Aga kuidas sa saaksidki? Ma ei rÀÀgi sellest just kuigi palju. Igastahes, kĂ”ik, kellega varem suhtlesin, on nĂŒĂŒd kĂŒll ikka samas koolis, aga erinevates suundades ehk siis ega neid vĂ€ga ikkagi ei nĂ€e. Ja siit saabki mu probleem alguse. Ma tunnen, et ma eemaldun neist iga pĂ€evaga ĂŒha kaugemale. Ja nad leiavad uued sĂ”brad. Nad liiguvad edasi.

Loomulikult ma ei arvagi, et kogu maailm peaks minu ĂŒmber keerlema, ma pole nii enesekeskne. Ma tean, et neil on on oma elu ja see lihtsalt on nii. Kuid see ei tĂ€henda, et ma igatseks neid. See ei muuda kunagi seda tunnet.

Aga ma lihtsalt ei oska seda.

Ma ei oska inimesi usaldada, mistĂ”ttu on ka raskem sĂ”pru saada. ÜkskĂ”ik kui vĂ€ga ma ka tahaks.

Niiet ma olen ĂŒksi. Ma veedan peaaegu iga nĂ€dalavahetuse kodus kas siis arvuti vĂ”i raamatu taga. See vĂ”ib tunduda mugav ja tore, aga pikapeale see enam selline pole. Ning see viib mind pideva ĂŒksinduse tundeni.

Aga ma tahan sobida kuhugi. Ma tahan olla vabal ajal koos sĂ”pradega. Ma tahan naerda kogu sĂŒdamest. Ma tahan naera, kuni mul hakkavad pisarad voolama. Kuni mu nĂ€gu ja kĂ”ht juba valutavad.

Ma pole seda nii pikka aega teinud. Ma igatsen seda tohutult.

Kui teil on mingisugust nĂ”u mulle, kuidas saada sellest tundest ĂŒle vĂ”i nippe kuidas hakata inimesi uuesti rohkem usaldama, siis ma olen ĂŒks suurkĂ”rv.

Kust mind veel leida | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat – greeteratsep

Life as a dancer

Dance. It’s something that has had a huge impact on my life yet I haven’t talked about it much in here. But I think it’s finally time to talk more about it.

Those who know me, know that I have been involved with dance since I was a little girl. I started with gymnastics, went on to learn more about show dance and ended up with street dance. They all made an impact on me and made me the way I am. It has taught me to be more patient, to work hard for what I want and to dream big.

It formed my personality and it has made me more confident. Because it takes a lot of confidence to step up on that stage, perform, show your emotions and give your absolute everything. Just before I get up on that stage, I feel major jiggles on my stomach but it makes me feel alive.

But when the room goes dark and just seconds before the music starts, I feel the spotlight, I feel that all the hours I have spent practising and working for that one moment, that it was all worth it. That all the pain and the tears were worth it in the end. And you can’t imagine how all this happiness bursts out and the tears and shakes start to happen when you get the result you have hoped for so long. It feels unreal. It feels like it isn’t even happening to me.

Where to find me | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat – greeteratsep

Tants. Miski, mis mĂ”jutab mu elu suurel hulgal, kuid millest pole siin peaaegu et ĂŒldse rÀÀkinud. Aga viimaks on aeg, vĂ”i mis te arvate?

Need, kes mind isiklikult tunnevad, teavad, et ma olen tanntsimisega tegelenud juba vĂ€iksest saati. Alustasin kĂŒll tĂ€iesti teistsuguse stiiliga, aga unustanud ma seda sellegi poolest pole ehk siis kĂ”igepealt hakkasin tegelema iluvĂ”imlemisega, edasi Ă”ppisin show-tantsu ning lĂ”puks olen jĂ”udnud tĂ€navatantsuni vĂ€lja. Iga periood kui tegelesin nende erinevate stiilidega erinevates stuudiotes, on jĂ€tnud oma jĂ€lje.

Need kĂ”ik on mĂ”jutanud mu elu erinevatel aegadel ja teinud mind sellisekss nagu ma olen praegu. Need Ă”petasid mulle suuremat kannatlikust, töötama selle nimel mida ma tahan ja unistama suurelt. Tantsimine on mulle andunud ja Ă”petanud nii palju. See on andnud mulle enesekindlust, rÔÔmu, tahet pĂŒĂŒelda kĂ”rgemale ja teinud mind tugevamaks. Ja seda kĂ”ike on vaja kui sa astud lavale.

Kui sa astud sellele lavale, esitad kogu oma viimaste kuude töö selle lĂŒhikese kolme minuti jooksul, kui annad endast kĂ”ik, et teha oma suurimad unistused teoks. Ja kĂ”igest sekundid pimeduses enne seda kui muusika mĂ€ngima lĂ€heb, tunnen, et kogu see töö ja vaev oli lĂ”puks seda vÀÀrt. Ja kĂ”ige parem, uskumatum ja emotsionaalsem moment on see kui, saad tulemuse, mide oled nii kaua oodanud ning mille nimel tööd teinud. See on kĂ”ige uskumatum tunne maailmas.

Kust mind veel leida | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat – greeteratsep

Snowy Days

Hello again! I know it’s been A WHILE since I last wrote anything in here but if you have been following me all over social media then you would know why I was away so long.

To cut a long-ish story shorter, I needed to take some time off to focus more on my schoolwork and also photography – it’s something that relaxes me and let’s my creative juices go wild haha. But yeah, I am super happy to be back and I though what a better way to start again is to show you what I have been up to recently so there will be TONS of photography posts coming up!

PS! If you always want to see the photos before they end up here or to keep up with my life then follow me on instagram as I am the most active there at the moment 🙂

Tervist taas! Ma tean, et on möödunud juba LIIIIGA pikk aeg, kui viimati midagi siia kirjutasin, aga kui oled mind teistel sotsiaalmeedia kontodel jĂ€lginud, siis ilmselt juba tead, miks ma eemal olin.

LĂŒhemalt öeldes oli mul siis vaja natuke aega maha vĂ”tta, et keskenduda rohkem koolile ja fotograafiale – see on minu jaoks vĂ€ga rahustav ja laseb mul olla loovam. Aga jah, ma olen super Ă”nnelik, et saan jĂ€lle tagasi olla ning ma arvasin, et pole paremat viisi naaseda, kui nĂ€idata iga postitusega natuke rohkem, mille kallal ma olen viimasel ajal töötanud, niiet tulemas on ĂŒsnagi palju fotograafiaga seotud postitusi lĂ€hitulevikus tulemas!

PS! Kui tahad nĂ€ha pilte enne kui need siia jĂ”uavad (kui ĂŒldse jĂ”uavad) siis ole kindel, et jĂ€lgid mind ka instagramis, kuna olen seal viimasel ajal kĂ”ige aktiivsem olnud. 🙂

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Hello 2017

It’s been almost a week since the new year started and I can’t believe that I haven’t written anything in here for so long. But the reason for that is because I needed to rest and clear my head. I was thinking about what the future holds for me but then I also realized that there is no chance for me to know that. We don’t know what the future holds for us, whether there will be great joy or the sadness that eats you from the inside out. No one can really tell what is coming so all we have left to do is to go with the flow and see where we end up.

Life is a funny thing in a sense that most of us think that we know what is coming or what they think is going to happen in their life. But usually it all goes the other way. We don’t always get what we want, we have to work hard to get it. And to top it all of, it adds more pressure, you are judged by everything you say or don’t say, do or don’t do and so on and so forth.

So what I basically wanted to say is that make this year all about you, be a little selfish sometimes. This year just forget everyone and just do whatever the heck you want, there is no chance that you can ever please everyone, believe me I know that. There will always be people who try to tear you down no matter what so don’t you ever try them to get to you, you are better than that.

Also Happy new year everyone and I hope that it will be an amazing one!

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NĂŒĂŒdseks on möödunud peaegu et juba nĂ€dal sellest kui uus aasta algas ning ma ei suuda uskuda, et ma pole nii pikalt juba siia kirjutanud. Aga selle pĂ”hjuseks oli see, et ma vajasin aega puhkamiseks ja et korrastada oma mĂ”tteid. Ma hakkasin mĂ”tlema sellele, mis hakkab toimuma ka minu jaoks tuleval aastal, aga pean tĂ”dema, et seda ei saa ma mitte mingil moel teada, ma ei tea mis on tulevikul minu jaoks varuks. Mitte keegi ei ole vĂ”imeline teadma seda ning seetĂ”ttu peame me lihtsalt leidma endale mugava asendi ja minema vooluga kaasa ning vaatama, mis juhtub edasi. 

Elu on ĂŒks selline naljakas asi selles mĂ”ttes, et paljud meist arvavad, et nad teavad, mis on tulekul vĂ”i mis hakkab nende elus juhtuma. Aga tavaliselt lĂ€hevad asjad hoopis teistpidi. Me ei saa alati, mida me tahame, me peame selle nimel vaeva nĂ€gema. Et lisada asjadele veel ka vĂŒrtsi siis kĂ”ik inimesed meie ĂŒmber arvustavad meid selle pĂ”hjal, mida me ĂŒtleme vĂ”i ei ĂŒtle, teeme vĂ”i ei tee ja nii edasi.

Niiet mida ma tegelikult koge selle jutuga mĂ”tlesin on see, et tee see aasta teistsuguseks. Unusta teised ning tee, mida just sina tahad, ĂŒkskĂ”ik mis see ka poleks. Ole vahelduseks isekas ja ole sina ise. Ära lase teiste arvamustel ennast muusta vĂ”i su tuju halvaks teha, sest usu mind kui ma ĂŒtlen, et vahet pole mida sa ka teeks, seal on alati olemas inimesi, kes sind kritiseerivad isegi kui selleks pole otsest pĂ”hjust. Ära lase nende sĂ”nadel vĂ”i tegudel mĂ”jutada ennast, sa oled siis juba selle vĂ”rra neist parem inimene.

Ja imelist uut aastat teile kÔigile ning ma loodan, et see tuleb super!

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What if everything keeps going wrong?

I think everyone has had the bad days – the days when you just feel like everything goes wrong no matter what and you are just stuck and waiting for the day to finally over.

I can honestly say that I have had quite a few days like this, especially recently. It just feels like I try too hard to make things good but it ends up not being that. And because of that I also haven’t felt quite like myself, like I am disconnected from everyone and everything. It seems a little strange but it’s just that. I feel like I am sitting on the sidelines while everything else just keeps moving forward. So what to do? How do connect with your inner self again and find peace?

All I can say that there is no easy solution, no easy fixes. You just have to let go of everything that bothers you to be happier again. It’s not easy because sometimes you don’t even know what exactly bothers you so (obviously) it’s hard to let go.
You have to take some time off of the life around you and do what makes you happy. For me it’s lighting some candles and cuddling up with a good book to distract me. Oh and taking a hot bath and watching a movie is also something that relaxes me although I don’t do that nearly enough.

What are your tips & tricks to make peace with your inner self?

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Ma arvan, et kĂ”igil on halbu pĂ€evi – pĂ€evi, kus sa tunned, et ĂŒkskĂ”ik mida sa ka ei teeks, kĂ”ik lĂ€heb ikka valesti ja seejĂ€rel lihtsalt ootad, et saabuks Ă”htu, et magama minna ja see kohutav pĂ€ev lĂ”puks seljataha jĂ€tta.

Mul on olnud just viimasel ajal vĂ€ga palju selliseid pĂ€evi. KĂ”ik lihtsalt lĂ€heb valesti ja ma ei oska kuidagi seda parandada, sest isegi kui ĂŒritan teen lihtsalt kĂ”ik hullemaks. Niiet parem on kĂ”ik rahule jĂ€tta. Ning selle tĂ”ttu ma pole tundnud nagu ma oleks mina ise, nagu ma oleks oma kehast eemal ning vaatan kĂ”ike juhtuvalt kĂ”rvalt ja imestan, miks asjad on nii nagu nad on. Niisiis, mida teha? Kuidas sa lood selle ĂŒhenduse oma sisemise minaga ja leiad rahu? (jah, ma mĂ”istan, et see jutt vĂ”ib kĂ”lada vĂ€ga hipilikult, aga las ta jÀÀb.. :D)

Ma saan vaid öelda, et sellele pole mingit imekiiret ja lihtsalt lahendust. Kuid kĂ”ige tĂ€htsam sellise olukorra juures on lihtsalt lahti lasta kĂ”igest, mis sind vaevab. Ning loomulikult on parimaks ravimiks alati ka nende asjade tegemine, mis sulle meeldib vĂ”i siis rahustavad sind. Minu jaoks on sellised tegevused nĂ€iteks kĂŒĂŒnlate sĂŒĂŒtamine ning seejĂ€rel tekkide alla pugemine ja matta ennast mĂ”nda heasse raamatusse. Ja loomulikult pole mitte midagi lÔÔgastavamat kui teha ĂŒks hea kuum vann ja panna mĂ€ngima mĂ”ni mĂ”nus film.

Millised on sinu nipid, et saavutada rahu oma sisemise minaga?

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Red on White

Hii! Okay a few months have passed since I last put up some photos of my baby and since the weather was on my side I got some beautiful shots of my little red fox. Anyway here are some of the photos I got to take and I must say that I love them, he’s such a photogenic dog and I swear that my camera loves him haha. 😀

Heii!! NĂŒĂŒdseks on juba pĂ€ris mitu kuud möödas kui viimati panin ĂŒles pilte oma nunnukast ja kuna ĂŒhel ilusal pĂ€eval otsustas ilm ka minu poolel olla siis klĂ”psisin mĂ”ned armsad pildid oma punasest rebasest. Igastahes siin on siis mĂ”ned minu lemmikumad pildid, mis ma Larsist sain. No ausalt ka, vaadake kui fotogeeniline koer ta on, see on tĂ€iesti uskumatu, kui armas ta mul ikka on. Ja ma vannun, et mu kaamera armastab teda. 😀

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The Holly Jolly Christmas Tag

Hello everyone! So since Christmas is just around the corner I thought that I would do this fun little tag to start off with my Christmas themed posts. Anyway, I have gathered up 13 questions that maybe also help you to get to know me a lot more better! 🙂

Heii! Kuna jĂ”ulud on peaaegu, et juba nurgataga siis ma tahtsin teha ĂŒhe lĂ”busa postituse, kus on 13 jĂ”uluteemalist kĂŒsimust. Ning selle postitusega alustan ma ka oma jĂ”uluteemalisi postitusi, kuna neid on ĂŒpriski palju ĂŒsna pea tulemas! 😉

1. Favorite Christmas movie?  || Lemmik jĂ”ulufilm?
12 Dates of Christmas, I watched it either last year or a year before that and I freaking love it and the storyline is so so good. || 12 Dates of Christmas, ma vaatasin seda kas eelmine vĂ”i ĂŒleeelmine aasta, aga ma armastan seda filmi, see on lihtsalt nii hea ja armas lugu.

2. Have you ever had a White Christmas? || Kas sul on kunagi olnud valgeid jĂ”ule?
Almost every single year haha 😀 || Peaaegu iga aasta Ă”nneks 😀

3. Do you start Christmas shopping on Black Friday or wait until the last minute? || Kas sa alustad oma sisseostude tegemisega musta reedel vĂ”i jĂ€tad selle viimasele hetkele?
Somewhere in between, I usually do it in the middle of December || Kuskil nende kahe vahepeal, tavaliselt alustan kuskil detsembri keskpaigas.

4. If you could be in any Christmas movie what would it be? || Kui sa saaksid olla ĂŒhes jĂ”ulufilmis siis mis see oleks?
Polar Express, who wouldn’t want to go to that place, it’s like a winter wonderland. || Polaarekspress, sest kes ei tahaks minna sinna, see on nagu talve vĂ”lumaa.

5. Name all Santa’s raindeers. || Nimeta kĂ”ik jĂ”uluvana pĂ”hjapĂ”drad.
Dancer, Rudolf, Comet, Vixon, Cupid, Blitzen, Donner, Prancer, Dasher. I admit that I had to look at least half of these up, I honestly didn’t know all the names haha || Dancer, Rudolf, Comet, Vixon, Cupid, Blitzen, Donner, Prancer, Dasher. Ma pean ausalt tunnistama, et ma pidin vĂ€hemalt pooled neist netist ĂŒles otsima, kuna ma teadnuki neid. 😀

6. When does your family put up your Christmas tree and who decorates it? || Millal sinu pere paneb kuuse ĂŒles ja kes seda kaunistab?
Usually in somewhere in the middle of December. Me and my mom, my sister and dad are not that interested in that haha 😀 || Tavaliselt kuskil ikkagi detsembri keskpaiga poole. Mina ja mu ema, mu Ă”de ja isa pole sellest vĂ€ga huvitatud 😀

7. Is your Christmas tree real or fake? || Kas sul on kuntskuusk vĂ”i pĂ€ris kuusk?
I used to have fake one since I was little but since 2014 we have a real one because now we have room for it.I couldn’t imagine going back to the fake tree as the real one gives me the right Christmas feeling. 🙂 || Üleskasvades oli mul peaaegu alati kunstkuusk, kuna lihtsalt polnud ruumi pĂ€ris kuuse jaoks. Aga alates aastast 2014 on meil kodus ikka olnud pĂ€ris kuusk, kuna minu jaoks annab see ikka Ă”ige jĂ”ulutunde. 🙂

8. Peeking at gifts or to be surprised? || Piiluda kingipakkidesse vĂ”i olla ĂŒllatunud?
To be surprised. Yes I do have the urge to peek sometimes as all the presents go under the tree a few days before but I hold myself back. || Olla ĂŒllatunud. Ma ei hakka valetama, kui ĂŒtlen, et mul pole seda soovi olnud. Loomulikult on. Eriti arvestades, et meil peres lĂ€hevad kingitused juba mĂ”ni pĂ€ev enne jĂ”ule kuuse alla niiet pean ennast tagasi hoidma 😀

9. Show us your ugly Christmas sweater if you have one. || NĂ€ita meile oma koledat jĂ”ulukampsunit kui sul on.
For your sadness I have to say that I have none, I only have one Christmas sweater and I absolutely love it! || Teie kurvastuseks pean ĂŒtlema, et mul ei ole ĂŒhtegi. Mul on ainult ĂŒks jĂ”ulukampsun, aga mulle meeldib see vĂ€ga. 🙂

10. Does your family have a special holiday recipe you like to help make? || Kas sinu perel on mingi eriline pĂŒhade retsept, mille tegemsele sulle meeldib kaasa aidata?
I wouldn’t say that we have a special recipe, as I celebrate Christmas with my mom’s side of the family (we are really really close with them  and have always celebrated our Christmas with them) and since there are about 20 of us then each family does a little something so all the food making doesn’t fall on the one who hosts that year. 😀 || Ma ei ĂŒtleks isegi, et meil on mingi eriline retsept. Kuna me tĂ€histame jĂ”ule mu empsi poolsete sugulastega (me oleme nendega hĂ€sti lĂ€hadesed niiet oleme alati kĂ”ik koos jĂ”ule tĂ€histanud) ja meid on kokku umbes 20 siis teeb iga pere ise natuke midagi nii et kogu söögitegemine ei lĂ€heks ainult sellele, kelle juures parajasti jĂ”ule peame.

11. What tops your Christmas tree? || Mis kaunistus on sinu kuusepuu otsas?
Kind of like this star thingy, but not exactly like a star haha, I don’t know how to describe it 😀 || Mingi selline tĂ€he moodi asi, aga see pole ka pĂ€ris tĂ€ht, ma ei oska seletada, mis asi see on haha 😀

12. Do you make New Years Resolutions? Do you stick with them? || Kas sa teed uusaastalubadusi? Kas sa ka nendest kinni pead?
I usually do, yes. But I choose the goals that I know are achievable and what I can actually do. What is the point of even doing them if you can’t keep them? || Tavalist teen kĂŒll jaa. Kuid ma valin endale lubadused, mida ma tean, et ma suudan ka saanutada. Mis mĂ”tet on isegi teha uusaastalubadusi, kui sa ei suuda neist kinni pidada?

13. You have been granted one Christmas wish… what will it be? || Sulle on antud ĂŒks jĂ”ulusoov… mis see on?
Ohhh that’s a hard one. But I think that my grandma would still be here so she could see all the amazing things that have happened over the past 2-3 years and that she could meet my baby boy Lars (aka my puppy). || Vot see on raske kĂŒsimus. Aga ma arvan see, et mu vanaema oleks veel meiega, et ta saaks nĂ€ha kĂ”iki neid imelisi asju, mis on viimase 2-3 aasta sees juhtunud ja et ta saaks tuttavaks me kutsubeebi Larsiga. 🙂

Okay this is all I have for today and I hope that you enjoyed this little Christmas tag, I ad so much fun answering to all of the questions! I also have lot more posts coming up really really soon so don’t forget to stay tuned. 🙂

See on kĂ”ik, mis mul teile tĂ€naseks on niiet ma tĂ”esti loodan, et teile meeldis selline pisike jĂ”ulupostitus, kus rÀÀkisin lĂ€hemalt ĂŒhest oma lemmikpĂŒhast. Kuna mul on ka palju uusi postitusi ĂŒsna pea tulemas siis Ă€ra unusta tĆĄekata ĂŒle ka mu sotsiaalmeedia kontod, sest sinna tulevad alati esimesena teadaanded ja vĂ€iksed sneak peek‘id! 🙂

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Beauty Tips I Swear By

I admit, I am a really lazy person when it becomes to doing beauty treatments or just pampering myself. I don’t really know why but I have never really bothered to pamper myself properly. Although I do have some tips and kind of “pampering” routines I do pretty often.

So the first thing is that I use coconut oil on my skin and lips as it softens them and also moisturizes my face as it gets really dry, especially during the fall-winter transition time. Although I don’t do it everyday as it makes my pores look a lot more bigger but I do it on the weekend when I know I am not going anywhere.

I am not sure if this is really popular but it’s the one thing I do all the time during winter and that is to apply honey on my lips. And for a simple reason – it makes them super soft and keeps my lips from chipping. I do it mostly on the evening before bed – apply the honey and then go to sleep. You can see the results immediately.  But you have to do it more than once for it to actually make a real change. From doing it once you have the soft lips for a day (when it’s colder then not even that much) but adding this little step to your night routine will make a difference over the time.

As I said – I don’t usually do much so these are all my tips for today. I hope you enjoyed this short little post. Also please let me know if you like to see more shorter posts or longer ones, it would help me out a lot 🙂

What are you beauty tips you swear by?

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Ma tunnistan, et ma olen tegelikult ĂŒsna laisk, kui asi puudutab niiöelda enda hellistamist ehk siis erinevate iluhoolduste tegemisega. Ma ei tea miks, aga ma pole kunagi vĂ”tnud vaevaks neid teha. Aga mul on mĂ”ned nipid/trikid, mis turgutavad mu nahka ning mida mulle meeldib vĂ€ga teha. Eriti sellisel ajal nagu praegu on.

Esimeseks on siis see, et ma kasutan kookoseĂ”li oma nahal (ja vahest ka huultel). See teeb naha ÀÀretult pehmeks ja jĂ€tab sellise mĂ”nusa siidise tunde hiljem, kuigi alguses pealekandes on see ĂŒsnagi rasvane. Mulle meeldib seda eriti kasutada sĂŒgise-talve ajal, kuna siis muutub mu nahk kĂ”ige kuivemaks ning vajab rohkem hoolt ja hellitamist kui tavaliselt. Kuid tuleb olla ettevaatlik, et seda iga pĂ€ev mitte kasutada, kuna see teeb ka poorid suuremaks ehk siis pole just kĂ”ige parem variant igapĂ€evaseks kasutamiseks, kuid suurepĂ€rane nĂ€iteks nĂ€dalavahetusteks kui tead, et pole kuhugi vaja minna ja meiki nĂ€kku panna.

Ma pole kindel kui paljud seda teavad vĂ”i mitte, aga see on midagi, mida mulle meeldib vĂ€ga teha ehk siis panna mett huultele. Jah, just. Mett. VĂ”ib kĂ”lada natuke naljakalt, aga sellel on tegeikult vĂ€ga hea mĂ”ju – see niisutab huuli ning muudab neid pehmemaks. Ma teen seda tavaliselt Ă”htuti enne magamaminekut ehk siis enne kui magama minek panen huultele ja hoian terve öö seda peal. Hommikuks on huuled alati mĂ”nusalt pehmed ning niisutatud. Kuid et sellel oleks pikaaegsem mĂ”ju siis tuleks seda teha ĂŒsna tihedalt, sest kui harva teha siis ei mĂ”ju see nii hĂ€sti kui vĂ”iks. 

Nagu ma mainisin ka enne, siis vĂ€ga ma igasuguseid hooldusi ei tee ehk siis need olid mĂ”ned minu nipid ning see on tĂ€naseks kĂ”ik. Ma loodan, et teile meeldis selline lĂŒhem postitus. Lisaks vĂ”iksite ka teada anda, et kas tahaksite rohkem nĂ€ha lĂŒhemaid postitusi vĂ”i pikemaid? See aitaks mind tuleviku tarbeks vĂ€ga 🙂

Millised on sinu ilunipid ja trikid?

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Before The Snow

Hey my loves! Today I am back with another photo post. Awhile back, before the snow came down, I took some photos of my friend. She wanted to get some new photos taken and I wanted to practice a lot more. So we went out for a photoshoot in a beautiful afternoon day. The weather was absolutely on our side as it was such a beautiful weather and perfect for taking photos!

Hei mu armsakesed! TĂ€na olen ma tagasi jĂ€rjekordse postitusega ning seekord tahtsin teile nĂ€idata mĂ”nda pilti, mis said tegelikult juba tubli mitu nĂ€dalat tagasi tehtud. TĂ€psemalt siis kui lumi polnud veel maas ja valgust oli kĂŒllalt. JĂ€rjekordselt haarasin ĂŒhe oma sĂ”branna ja viisin ta pilte tegema, see oli kasulik meile mĂ”lemale – tema tahtis saada uusi pilte ja mina natuke harjutada inimeste pildistamist. Ilm oli absoluutselt tĂ€iuslik ehk siis pĂ€ike paistis soojalt peale, kuid langevad vĂ€rvilised lehed ja Ă”rn kĂŒlm tuuleke, nĂ€itasid seda unistuslikku sĂŒgiseilma, mis oli tĂ€iuslik piltide tegemiseks!

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