How to get in the holiday spirit?

So now that summer and Halloween have passed, we are on for holiday season! Even though the snow isn’t even here, I am so ready for Christmas. And I know exactly the ways to get into the Christmas mood. So don’t ya worry 😉

Put up decorations

The most easiest way to create a more Christmassy feel to your home is to put up some lights and also light up multiple candles. And what I also like to do is to draw something more suitable for holidays and put them up in my room.

Christmas sweater & socks

I am not even kidding when I say that I have special sweater and socks that I wear as soon as November (or in this year’s case, at the second half of October, oops) hits. They are so freaking Christmassy and warm that I just love to wear them during this time of the year!

Music

Another easy, yet effective way to feel more festive is to make (or find) a Christmas playlist. And as soon as you put the playlist on, then you just feel the wave of festivity (wait, is it even a word?? :DD) hit you with all of it’s glory. Some of my favorites are Ariana Grande’s Christmas songs, like for example Santa Tell Me, Last Christmas (because duh, it’s a must listen to!), Santa Baby but I can’t also help myself but to listen to Michael BublĂ©’s songs (one of my faves is It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas).

Christmas shopping

There is no better way to get in the holiday mood than going Christmas shopping. Especially when doing it with a close friend, besides getting the shopping done, it’s also a great way to get some quality time!
And it is super fun unless you don’t leave it at the last minute. I don’t know about you but I am trying to do more creative and personal gifts this year so that takes a bit of preparation.

Anyway, these are some of the tips that work for me to get in the festive spirit! Let me know if these work for you or any more tips that you want to share with others!

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Found my perfect lash match?

I know that I am not the only girl who feels extra fabulous and confident when wearing some form of fake lashes. They don’t look like much but when you see that enhanced version of yourself then how can you not feel like you are on top of the world? I don’t know about you but I know that I do when I have fake lashes on. But if you wear the ones that are too long, look too fake or are so heavy that they pull your eyes down then they usually have the opposite effect to what you desire.

I am not new to the whole fake lashes world. I first started using them when I was about 12 or 13 and it was a must for dance competitions. So I learned pretty young how to apply them but unfortunately for me, I didn’t use the most beautiful ones. You know that stage makeup is never that beautiful in real life. It looks fake and way too much for a young girl. And for heaven’s sake, the lashes that I wore back then were some cheap ones I found and what were that heavy that they didn’t open my eyes up but made them look way smaller than they actually are.

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And I also have had eyelash extensions that were put on in a salon and they looked so bomb but honestly, I am not a fan of these. First of all, I can’t wear eyeliner if I want them to last for a while (aka about a month max) so that’s a problem for me. Ya know that your gal likes her eyeliner 😀 And the second problem is that they don’t last very long unless you go back to the salon after every two weeks or so. And that’s a little too much effort haha, I am a simple girl.

But I have found another solution for myself. And that is fake glue-on lashes. Quite easy to apply and when I feel like I don’t want to wear them anymore, you can easily just take them off, clean the lashes and put them back in the box and wear again whenever I feel like it.

And this is exactly what I get from my favoritefake lashes from a brand called Eylure. They are super lightweight and stay on once put on correctly. When I put these on, they lasted for a solid 8 hours and were really comfortable to wear. What is also a huge plus for me is that they look so natural and blend in beautifully with my own lashes. What both me and my friend were really surprised about was that they were a perfect match in the length department for me. This is one of the first times where I didn’t have to resize the strip of the lashes to fit for my eye – both in length of the strip and the actual lashes themselves So no complaints from me. 😀

I had such a hard time choosing which ones to buy, there are so many options to choose from. But I knew for the start that I wanted something I could wear with an everyday look but also for a night out or for a party. I think I was deciding for over a two weeks which ones to take because I can be the most indecisive person. But in the end, I couldn’t be more happy with the pair I did decided to get.

The lashes that I got for myself are Eylure Volume lashes No. 101. As the description says on the box they are a full, shorter length lash that really opens up the eye. And they really do what it says which is a lot more than what I can say to some other brand’s lashes so that’s impressive.

I liked to wear these with a quite simple makeup look to keep it simple and more focused on the eyes as I didn’t want to look too over-the-top. But in my opinion these lashes would look absolutely amazing with any kind of makeup look that you decide to wear. As I did say, these are perfect for any occasion.
Ps. these would look absolutely bomb with some winged liner 😉

* This is a sponsored post by Eylure but all opinions are 100% honest and mine.

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ï»żConfidence is the key

I recently went to this lecture which was all about how to find that sense of self. But also how the way you present yourself impacts the way others perceive you.
Like for example, most employees don’t really care about how many degrees you have or what you have learned. If you have the papers then that shows to the employer that you can stick to this thing and you don’t give up. It shows your persistence and how you can handle difficult situations.

But when talking just about confidence then you have to believe that you are that supergirl, that you are powerful. That you do have everything it takes to get the job done. Even if you don’t always think of yourself at first.

I can tell you this from an experience. I am quite insecure and doubt in myself A LOT. I doubt in my own skills and knowledge. I adapt to a character that helps me through the situation the easiest way possible.
Another example – I am absolutely terrified of public performance or public speaking. I always try to avoid it the best I can. But since this is life and I can’t get what I want, I take on a character or make up a situation that feels the most safe. When I have to speak in front of the class or have to represent something, I always need to have a friend in the crowd, like a security person. It makes me feel safe. Like I am talking directly to that person. And when I don’t have someone like that then I get so nervous and I forget everything. It’s bad hahah.

So whatever you do in life, do it with confidence. Even if you don’t believe in yourself in some moments. Act like you do and others will believe too.

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Mistakes all photographers have made

All of us photographers have had some kind of mishaps during our time doing photography. So I asked some fellow photographers from all over the world what are some of the mistakes they have done.

Over-editing

I am also so guilty of doing this. When I first started I used some really crappy editing program. I tried to get the piercingly beautiful eyes that everyone else had on Facebook photography groups. But I can tell ya already, the result ain’t pretty. I swear to god, the eyes in these photos looked sooo creepy!! I brought up the whites and blacks waayy too high. Please kids, don’t be as dumb as I was.

Not learning manual sooner

I can relate to this too! I used the aperture priority (Av) for a long time and learning to shoot in manual was the best decision. It wasn’t easy and I spent my New Year’s Eve shooting a notebook and pen to get the hang of shooting in manual lol. What a way to end the yeah haha 😀

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Choosing a bad location

One girl shared her story with me and I feel so sorry for her haha. So she accidentally stood in an ant pile while shooting and had a horrible reaction from the bites! This is truly tragic but she did get beautiful shots so as she says, it was totally worth it.

Shooting in JPG instead of RAW

I regret this soo much! I did it when I just got started and omg, why did I do that?? But when I started using the editing program (and already learned some things because thanks to YouTube) I used before Lightroom, it didn’t let me edit photos unless they were in JPG, so that’s what I did. It wasn’t a good idea I can tell ya that!

Tilted horizon 

There are a bunch of problems that may occur when you shoot crooked all throughout the session. First of all, the composition isn’t the same as it was at first.
Secondly, when you try to straighten it (and when yo photograph people) then you may crop it in a way that the person’s limbs look very awkward.

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Too high ISO

I think absolutely every photographer has this happened to them! It’s so easy to forget to change the settings when you shoot at different times. Like what happened to Jessica..

“Accidentally left my ISO at 10,200 (I believe I was shooting a night  shoot for fun and was playing around with ISO’s… I was VERY NEW) and did an outdoor shoot in the blasting sun! The photos came out really grainy and overexposed.”

Not emptying the memory card

Oh I know it all too well. I do a lot of impromptu shoots and there are times when I forget to empty the card. And then having the moment of surprise during a session when I have had discovered that my 32GB memory card is completely full.
But thankfully I always have a backup card in my bag so if that does happen, I don’t have to pause the session to delete some of the shots. But unfortunately Rebecca wasn’t all that lucky when something like that happened..

“Forgot to erase my memory card. Didn’t have my backup card. Card was full midway through a session. Clients had to wait while I went through and manually deleted photos I couldn’t use. Took several minutes.”

Listening too much other photographers

It can be hard being the only person doing photography when you don’t have any other photographer friends. You just have to rely on yourself and there is a lot of doubt. You can wonder for a long time whether you work is good enough or if you should change something.

While having other photographers who can give you some feedback, it can get a little overbearing at times.

Others do have the tendency to give unnecessary advice. Some need to understand that everyone has their own vision and how they like something. So my advice in this case is to just tell these people to shut up and focus on their own art and let you do you boo.

So, to sum it all up – everyone makes mistakes and it’s okay. Nobody’s perfect and I swear to you, I have done I think most of these – if not even all. And these mistakes don’t apply to just beginners, even more professional photographers have had their  share of bad moments when everything just isn’t going right but it’s not the end of the world.

If you do photography, which mistakes have you done? Let me know in the comment section below! 🙂

Peace out & you do you hun

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Things I learned in the past year

The past year of my life has been a real rollercoaster. There have been some really low points but also some high ones. And I have learned a lot. I have learned a lot about  myself but also friendship, love and importance of my own health. I have had times when I can’t control my emotions, when it feels like absolutely everything is going wrong. I cannot tell you how much I have started to value everything that I have in my life.

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The most difficult thing that I have faced has been – of course – my illness. It has taken me down and took away the control I so much need. But when something like this happens, you have to face it and then accept it. Of course it’s always easier said than done but it still applies.

“when you fall, you have two choices – you either stay on the ground or you get up and try again”

And it is that simple. I know that I probably won’t have a full control again but I chose to control the things I can. I can control my attitude and my behavior towards others. So this is what I do. I have the control in this situation and that makes me feel safe.

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“family is bound by blood, friends by love, trust and affection”

This has been a year of changes. I have lost some friends I thought would be in my life for a long time but as the time passes, people just drift apart. I still love and care about them but life happens. We all change and it would be foolish to expect for everything to stay the same at all times. For example, when I was little I had this beautiful pink coat. I loved it and if it would’ve been possible I would’ve worn it allll the time. I loved it and it was dear to me but as I got older, it just didn’t fit anymore. I grew out of it. But that didn’t meant that I didn’t love it anymore.
And this is the case with lost friends. They go but they never leave your heart. You still have that little space for them in your heart.

But it’s not all sad. When some people go, new ones come to place. That is the circle of life. And truth be told, I don’t know how I have been so lucky to get such amazing friends who support me whenever it’s needed, push me when I myself don’t have the courage to do something. And when it’s a harder day I know that they make it better, even if they don’t know when something is not okay. They are my people and they make my life better. This is what matters in life.

You know you have your people around you when you can be your own silly self and they become even sillier and y’all can laugh about it together. But also when you can talk about the deep stuff. This is what true friends are. They listen, are there for you for the happy times and when things get bad. They are there and make sure you are okay and help however they can.

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“when you love someone, nothing else matters than their well-being and caring about someone other than you and your own needs”

I know that I share quite a lot of myself online but one thing that I am extremely private about is my relationships. It’s one part of my life that I want to keep to myself but I still want to tell you a little about how my relationships have affected me and the course of my life.
I have been in love. I was head ober heels for this guy but later I found out the person I was with, wasn’t the kind I thought him to be. I gave him all my trust and love but it wasn’t all mutual. It was a hard and messy relationship overall. But even despite of that, I did love him and deeply cared about him. But what happened between us was a little too much. The only thing I will never forgive anyone is betraying my trust. And he betrayed my trust to the point where I just can’t trust people completely anymore. I keep a lot to myself to keep from getting hurt again. It really sucks but I am still learning to cope with it. I want to love like that again. I want to care about someone like that again but it’s hard. I locked my heart away so far that even I can’t find it anymore.

But the hardest moment was a little while ago when I had someone new in my life. It was then when we had been together for a little bit when I realized that I care about him but I never really loved him. Not like he did me. I think that the timing was just really off for me. Because how could I love someone when I keep my heart locked away from it? And I couldn’t do this to him. I knew it was time to let him go and deal with the problems I have. It is hard because I know that I hurt him but going further with the relationship where I couldn’t give him my love would hurt both of us a lot more in a long run.

So, what I want to say in conclusion is that life throws a lot in our way and it’s not always the things we want but we need to accept them, learn something and move on to something else. This is how life works. But if you get too stuck in your own mind or in the past then trust me when I say that everyone has had things in their life that have hurt them but this isn’t enough of a reason to give up. Better things are coming when you just believe and carry on living. Trust me, I know.

My Bucket List

So bucket lists. Why do we do them? In my opinion when something is written down, people are more likely to do it. Simply because they see it and it makes them want to cross it off the list as soon as possible. Because who wouldn’t like to cross things off the lists, right? Well, that’s at least my opinion about this whole thing.

And for today’s post I thought I would share with you some of the things that I want to do during my lifetime. This is just a little glimpse of it because there are many more things I want to do.

ps! Everything I have written doesn’t have a specific timeline, these are just the things I really, from the bottom of my heart, want to do at some time in my life.

  1. Learn how to surf
  2. Do some kind of charity or voluntary work
  3. Study abroad
  4. Perform alone publicly in front of 40 to 50 people (I am very afraid of public performance)
  5. Draw/paint on the old streets of Paris.
  6. Make a dance video with my own original choreography
  7. Reach 500 blog followers
  8. Travel alone (preferably to Australia, England, France or Spain)
  9. Adopt a dog
  10. Ask a guy out
  11. Go on a roadtrip with my best friends
  12. Fall in love unconditionally
  13. Spend a whole day without any kind of electronics
  14. Get an actual job
  15. Travel to 3 different countries that I haven’t been to before during a course of one summer
  16. Get into art school
  17. Move away to somewhere warm
  18. Go back to England to see the Victoria & Albert’s Art Museum
  19. Learn to speak another language fluently
  20. Visit Disneyland
  21. Visit Harry Potter World
  22. Learn how to cook at least five dishes from memory
  23. Learn how to actually play guitar correctly
  24. Play golf
  25. Try living a minimalist life for 14 days
  26. Learn 10 phrases in French or in Spanish
  27. Go to Ed Sheeran’s concert
  28. Go to Coachella
  29. Photograph a wedding
  30. Try the 3-day smoothie challenge
  31. Record a song
  32. Write a little novel
  33. Jump in to the water from a cliff
  34. Go to fashion week

So that’s a little sneak peek of what I want my life to be life.

What do you want to do?

Whatever you do, the most important thing to remember is to have fun. Enjoy all of it. You do only have this one life so use it wisely.

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Best summer ’17 memories

The summer has reached its end and I can’t believe how fast it want by. It’s crazy. So I thought that I would quickly sum it all up and show you some of my best memories that I have of this summer. No long talk, let’s get into it!

All of these were taken on my trip to Poland and with some of the most amazing people I met there. The first one marks my first plane ride all on my own, I was so anxious but also excited for it. I remember how I got to the airport at the last minute. I thought that I was really late. I was supposed to be up at 4.30 and in the airport at 4.50 to have some extra time, just in case. But instead I woke up at 5 in the morning. I got ready in 5 minutes and grabbed my breakfast on the way. But I still made it in time (and had to wait for over 10 min to get on the plane, and then another 15 min sat on the plane before it took off).

Second and forth one were taken in Warsaw when we had hours to spend in the city. The second one was when we got a little bored and just started to take some photos of each other (I am there with Anastasia, another girl from the estonian group and whom I got quite close to). We were discovering the old town and having lunch in a quite traditional Polish restaurant before heading back to get our luggage and heading to Nieborow with rest of the group.

And the third one was taken in the middle of the polish youth exchange with my babes from Macedonia and the best guy from Romania. They were few of those who I got really close to. |09.-17.06.17 |

Those two photos were taken on a little event called Photowalk X VLND what was basically an event for photographers to discover some new interesting places in Viljandi (my hometown), take cool interesting photos of each other (or someone doing their magic) and to, also, get to know other photographers around this area. I had so much fun, and to be honest I got more comfortable shooting in public. In a sense that I get super self-conscious when I am photographing something/someone and when people are around. But I got over myself there haha. | 22.07.17 |

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At a family picnic, holding my little baby cousin. She is the most adorable little one, but also the sassiest one haha. She’s such a princess.
For me, family is everything. And just sitting down in a quiet little place near the woods and a lake was just perfect. I got to spend time with relatives I hadn’t seen for a little while and it was so good to just spend some quality time with them. | 30.07.17 |

All taken on my latest Erasmus+ project in Laidze, Latvia.

First photo. On Latvian night where the people showed us old Latvian traditions. Which one of them was to put honey in a fire. On the second photo there is our favorite cat from the trip – we named him Simba – who always followed us around.

The third and fourth photo are taken in the first official day of the project during/between some bonding games with some awesome people from the estonian team. 🙂 | 06.-14.08.17 |

These were taken for an article for a local online magazine VLND and I had the pleasure to photograph the IX dance and song festival for people with special needs. It was so heartwarming to see so many people full of love and joy even though the weather wasn’t on our side at all times. They danced and sang through the rain and not once complained. When I left the event I was so happy and excited that it was ME whose photos of this amazing event, were published and seen by so many people. | 26.08.17 |

So, these were some of the brightest but there were so many good ones that this would go on and on for ever. I had a really good time travelling around, spending time with some old friends but also with friends I made during my time abroad. Right at this moment, I couldn’t imagine my life without them. It was a summer full of laughter, happiness, the ups and the downs. But it was definitely a good one.

Happiness in the smallest things

I have gotten a lot of questions recently from various people about why I am so happy and smiling all the time. But the real question in my opinion would be, why are you not happy? Of course I am not some super human without any problems, I do. But even then I smile through them because if I have a bad day then why should I also ruin someone else’s by being sad or angry? Why should I make others feel bad when I do?

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That’s my absolutely adorable friend Merilyn, who is exactly like me. Always smiling. 🙂

It’s also about finding happiness even from the most smallest things. If you are able to see the beauty even from let’s say, an apple. Not necessarily from the looks of it but about its sweet taste. Be happy about that. Let that erase those bad feeling go away, even for a minute. Learn to let go of some things and you will see how much better it is. Why should you worry about all the problems in the world? You shouldn’t. It’s okay to just make sure that YOU are happy. And once you do that, you can see that smiling and spreading that warmth of laughter gives you, can stuck to people.

So, what are the things I am happy about? I am happy about a lot of things but here’s just some of them (I also did a post a while back about all the things that make me happy, you can read it here).

  • the warm feeling of a sun touching my skin
  • happy people
  • friends
  • good food
  • that I am able to travel as much as I do
  • doing my makeup in the morning
  • listening to some of my favorite songs and singing along as loud as I can
  • art (in all forms – dancing, photography, drawing)
  • the smell of a freshly mowed grass
  • talking about everything and nothing with a good friend

Magic of Purple

Hello! The long waited post is finally here! I got the photos a while back actually but WordPress has been playing with me because for some reason the photos had a terrible quality each time I have tried to upload them here. And yes, They look absolutely beautiful and high quality everywhere else.

But here are some of my favorite photos from my photoshoot. Enjoy and let me know what do you think of this new and totally different hairstyle!

Photographer: Ako Lehemets

Heihopsti! Ja ongi see kauaoodatud postitus teie ees! Ma sain pildid juba pĂ€ris tĂŒkk aega tagasi, aga kuna mina ja WordPress pole viimasel ajal just kĂ”ige paremini lĂ€bi saanud siis oli pisike probleem – nimelt iga kord kui ĂŒritasin neid pilte siia ĂŒles panna, siis kvaliteet oli nii halb, et ma lihtsalt ei suutnud veenda ennast neid ĂŒles panema. Ning jah, pildid on muidu super kvaliteediga nii et viga peab kuskil siin leiduma. Iseasi, aga kus siis ikkagi tĂ€psemalt.

Igastahes, siin on siis mÔned minu lemmikud pildid, mis nÀdala eest tehtud said. Anna teada kuidas pildid meeldivad ning ka mis arvad sellest uuest ja totaalselt teistsugusest soengust!

Fotograaf: Ako Lehemets

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Changing from blonde & long

Hello again! I promise that over the summer I will try and keep up the consistency because right now  it’s.. well, let’s just say that it could be a lot more better.

Anyway, I am not sure how many of you follow me on my Instagram (but if not, then hello, what are you even doing with your life?? haha just kidding :D) then you might have seen a little change from my story. As it’s not really a secret then I am going to say it out loud – I cut my hair (again) and colored it purple-brownish (can’t wait until you see the result, but there’s multiple days until the full reveal :D).

So for that, I went for a little shoot with my babe before I changed my hair on the 26th June, because well, simply said, I didn’t have many photos of myself. Last ones were taken in December (that I reaaallly loved). So it was about time I got some new fresh shots before cutting and coloring them. And here are some of my favorites. Enjoy!

Ps! To see more photos, go and follow my Instagram. I usually post there (and to the Insta stories) everything before so you can get all the sneak peeks and news there 😉

Where to find me | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Tere taas! Ma luban, et ĂŒritan suve jooksul rohkem siia kirjutada ning pilte riputada, kui olen seda siiamaani teinud, kuna hetkel on see, noh.. ilusti öeldes, vĂ”iks ma endast siin rohkem mĂ€rku anda. 😀

Igastahes, ma pole kidel kui paljud teist jĂ€lgivad mind ka instagrammis (kui sa seda juba ei tee siis, mida sa ĂŒldse oma eluga teed?? haha nali-nali :D), aga kes jĂ€lgivad, siis vĂ”isite juba nĂ€ha story’s minu pisikest muutust. Kuna see enam sedavĂ”rd saladus pole siis, mis mĂ”tet on siin keerutada – mĂ”ned pĂ€evad tagasi lĂ”ikasin oma pikad blondid juuksed maha ning vĂ€rvisin need lillakas pruuniks. Ma ei jĂ”ua juba oodata, kuni te nĂ€ete ka uusi pilte nendega sest need nĂ€evad nii lahedad vĂ€lja, ma olen ise vĂ€ga rahul (kuigi mĂ”ned arvavad, et ma olen natuke hulluks lĂ€inud :D).

Kuigi kui aus olla siis pole pilte veel tegemagi lÀinud, aga ma olen lihtsalt ise ka juba nii elevil, plaan on minna juba neljapÀeval tegema nii et ehk saab nÀdala lÔpuks kÀtte ja saate siis tulemust oma kogu hiilguses nÀha.

Aga enne kui oma blondid kiharad maha lĂ”ikasin ning Ă€ra vĂ€rvisin siis lĂ€ksin ja tegin sĂ”brannaga veel viimased pildid pikkade juustega. Ning mĂ”tlesin oma lemmikuid siis ka teiega jagada. Okei, aitab juba jutust, nautige! 🙂

Kust mind veel leida| YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

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Best Feel Good Songs

Whenever I have to do some quite boring chores my favorite thing to do is put on some super good or energetic songs that just give the energy I need. They are my favorites to just sing along to pass time by quickly or just to have fun while doing the chores. So here’s a list of my personal 20 favorite songs of the moment that I think you will enjoy as well. 🙂

Iga kord kui ma pean tegema mingisuguseid töid kodus siis mu lemmikuks asjaks selle kÔrval on panna kÀima mÔned vÀga energilised vÔi siis lihtsalt head laulud, millele kaasa laulda, et aeg kiiremini mööda lÀheks. VÔi et oleks lihtsam lÔbusam neid töid teha.
Niisiis kogusin kokku oma 20 kĂ”ige lemmikumat laulu, mis ma arvan, et meeldiksid ka sulle. 🙂

  1. Shape of You – Ed Sheeran
  2. F*ck You – Lily Allen
  3. Me Too – Meghan Trainor
  4. Galway Girl – Ed Sheeran
  5. What Do I Know? – Ed Sheerean
  6. Wrapped Up – Olly Murs
  7. Sk8er Boi – Avril Lavigne
  8. Dirty Little Secret – The All-American Rejects
  9. Shut Up and Dance – WALK THE MOON
  10. Riptide – Vance Joy
  11. I’m Born To Run – American Authors
  12. The Best Damn Thing – Avril Lavigne
  13. Ex’s & Oh’s – Elle King
  14. Pretty Girl – Maggie Lindermann
  15. Most Girls – Hailee Steinfeld
  16. Bad Liar – Selena Gomez
  17. Scars To Beautiful – Alessia Cara
  18. Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift
  19. 22 – Taylor Swift
  20. How Far I’ll Go – Alessia Cara

Where to find me | YouTube | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

I have been keeping a secret..

I need to confess something. I have been hiding something from all of you but I can’t keep it inside anymore. I wasn’t planning to talk about it for a long time but I am afraid what will happen if I don’t talk about it.

The reason I haven’t been online that much for the past few months is because on April 5th I was officially diagnosed with JIA aka Juvenile Ideopathical Artritis.

Who is not familiar with it then shortly said it’s a condition where my own body has started attacking my joints. For me it has caused severe pain in both of my wrists and knees. And this makes even the most simple and most everyday things harder for me than they are for most people.

I wish I could say that it only hurts me physically. It plays with my mind and tests my own limits. Because every morning I wake up and I feel it. I feel it everywhere. It breaks my heart because I had to give up some things that I love. There are so many days when I was ready to give up and not fight it because I lost a lot because of this. I lost some people. But then I have to remind myself that hopefully gets easier. That one day I will be better. And there are only people next to me who truly care about me and love me with their whole heart.

I have been also in a role of the friend who sees the other person experience this. And it isn’t easy, I get it. It breaks the spirit of the person. If you have been friends for a long time and remember the person as the most happiest one then you have to be prepared for it to change. Because it will. There will be days when they close up and stay away from everything. And there will be days when they want to be around people as much as possible. In that case, please don’t close them out. I beg you. It makes their world even worse because the nasty thoughts will get the best of them.

I can’t never blame the people if it’s too much for them to handle. Every day with this is different. Some days I do feel like I could fight the world and other days I feel like I never want to wake up. It’s harsh to say but this is the truth.

So. This is the conclusion of what has been going on and what I am dealing with right now. And to finish it then I ask you to be kind to people around you, you can never know what is happening to them. And when you see that something is wrong then just be there for the person, offer your shoulder when you feel they need to cry or just an ear to listen them out. And never close them out. It will only make everything worse.

If you have any questions about it or want to know more about then don’t be afraid to ask. You can always write in here or if you want to talk privately then you can write me in any of my social media accounts.

And for any disclaimers out there then this post is not for seeking attention but showing others that it is important to speak up. To make talking about your mental and physical health okay and normal, not as a tabu thing.

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Ma tahan midagi ĂŒles tunnistada. Ma olen seda varjanud peaaegu, et kĂ”igi eest, aga ma ei suuda seda enam teha. Ma ei plaaninud sellest veel pikka aega rÀÀkida, kuid ma kardan natuke, mis vĂ”ib juhtuda kui ma seda ei tee.
PĂ”hjus, miks ma olen viimase paari kuu jooksul olnud netist rohkem eemal on see, et 5ndal aprillil diagnoositi mind juveniilse ideopaatilise artriidiga (ehk lĂŒhidalt öeldes JIA).

Kes pole sellega tuttav siis lĂŒhidalt öeldes on see seisund, kus mu enda keha on pöördunud iseenda vastu ning selle tulemusena hakanud mu liigiseid rĂŒndama. Minu jaoks pĂ”hjustab see Ă€gedat valu nii mĂ”lemates randmetes ning pĂ”lvedes. Ning selle tulemusena vĂ”ivad mĂ”ned kĂ”ige lihtsamad ja igapĂ€evasemad asjad mulle raskeks osutada.

Ma soovin, et ma saaksin öelda, et see pĂ”hjustab valu mulle ainult fĂŒĂŒsilisel tasandil. See mĂ€ngib mu mĂ”tetega ning paneb mind igapĂ€evaselt proovile. Kuna iga hommik ma Ă€rkan ĂŒles ja ma tunnen seda. Ma tunnen seda lĂ”pmatut valu igal pool. Ning see murrab mu sĂŒdame, kuna olen olnud sunnitud loobuma mĂ”nest asjast, mida ma armastan. On olnud nii palju pĂ€evi, kus ma tunnen, et ma lihtsalt ei jĂ”ua enam vĂ”idelda selle vastu, kuna see on vĂ”tnud minult juba nii palju. Ma olen kaotanud enda kĂ”rvalt inimesi, kes ma soovin, et poleks lahkunud. Kuid sel hetkel ma pean hakkama endale jĂ€llegi meelde tuletama, et on veel nii palju mille pĂ€rast vĂ”idelda ning et ehk lĂ”puks tasub see kĂ€ik Ă€ra. Ehk lĂ€heb siis kĂ”ik kergemaks. Ehk ĂŒhel pĂ€eval on kĂ”ik parem. Ning sel hetkel seisavad minu kĂ”rval inimesed, mes tĂ”eliselt hoolivad minust and armastavad mind kogu oma sĂŒdamega.

Ma saan öeda, et ma mĂ”istan neid, kelle jaoks on seda kĂ”ike liiga palju, et lihtsalt olemas olla minu jaoks, kuna ma olen olnud selles olukorras, kus ma olen sĂ”bra rollis. Ma siiani olen. Nii et ma saan sellest aru. See on raske. See murrab selle inimese vaimu, kes seda lĂ€bi elab. See inimene muutub niivĂ”rd palju, et vĂ”ib mĂ”nele tunduda lausa vÔÔrana. Kui enne oli see inimene pidavelt rÔÔmus ja positiivne inimene, kes uskus maailma headusesse siis ole valmis, et see muutub. On pĂ€evi, kus see inimene tahab olla ainult ĂŒksina ning on sulgenud oma mĂ”tetesse. Ning on pĂ€evi, kus ainuke asi mida ta ĂŒle kĂ”ige tahab, on olla inimeste keskel. Ning see on hetk, kus sa ei tohiks inimest kĂ”rvale heita. Kuna need mĂ”tted, mis hakkavad sel juhul ligi tulema, ei ole ilusad ega Ă”nnelikud.

Enda seisukohalt saan öelda, et see poleks minust aus, kui ma sĂŒĂŒdistaks neid inimesi lahkumises, kui see on liiga palju nende jaoks. Kuna see mis toimub mu enda peas on selline, kuhu ma ei tahaks kedagi lasta. See pole ilus. MĂ”ned pĂ€evad on sellised, kus ma tunnen, et ma suudan kogu maailmale vastu olla ning teistel pĂ€evadel on ainukeseks mĂ”tteks see, et ma ei tahaks enam kunagi ĂŒles Ă€rgata. Seda on karm öelda, kuid see on tĂ”si. 

Niisiis. See on siis kokkuvĂ”te sellest, mis on viimasel ajal toimunud ning millega ma pean hetkel hakkama saama. Ning lĂ”petuseks tahan veel paluda, et oleksid lahke ja sĂ”bralik nende vastu, kes on su ĂŒmber, sa ei vĂ”i kunagi teada, mis nende elus toimuda vĂ”ib ning paar head sĂ”na vĂ”ib olla nende pĂ€eva tipphetk. Ja kui sa nĂ€ed, et midagi pole Ă”igesti siis lihtsalt ole seal selle inimese jaoks, paku oma Ă”lga, millel nutta vĂ”i kĂ”rva, mis lihtsalt kuulaks, mis vaevab nende sĂŒdant. Ära kunagi tĂ”uka neid eemale. See teeb ainult asja hullemaks.

Kui sul on mingeid kĂŒsimusi vĂ”id tahad rohkem selle teema kohta teada, siis vĂ”ib mulle alati siia ja ka mu sotsiaalmeedia kontodel privaatselt kirjutada.

PS. Mainin ka Àra, et see postitus pole mÔeldud selle jaoks, et otsida tÀhelepanu vÔi haletsust, vaid selleks, et nÀidata ka teistele, et sellisest asjadest rÀÀkimine on tÀhtis. Et see pole mingisugune tabu asi, millest keegi ei tohiks rÀÀkida. 

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What’s in my everyday makeup bag + makeup routine

I am such a curious person and I love to see what other people have in their makeup bag and what are their everyday essentials. So I thought that why not show and talk a bit about my go to products with you so if you are a curious little peanut like me, then you are in a right place! 🙂

Ma olen hĂ€sti uudishimulik inimene ja mulle meeldib nĂ€ha ja teada saada, mis meigitooteid keegi kasutab ja milline on nende igapĂ€eva rutiin. Niiet otsustasin siis ka enda omad kirja panna niiet kui sa oled selline nagu mina siis see on Ă”ige postitus just sulle! 🙂

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THE PREP AND BASE

I am not going in details about how I prep my face because I talked about it more in this post so if you want to know about it then go ahead and check it out!

For my base I don’t do anything too complicated as I prefer to sleep that extra 10-15 minutes instead of doing the full glam makeup so I have been keeping it real simple recently. I start of with Bourjois Radiance Reveal concealer. I have two different shades as I accidentally bought a slightly darker color a few weeks ago but thankfully the summer is coming and since I was on a holiday, it fits quite good.

So I am usually starting off with the darker shade (02 Beige), then go in with the same one but in a lighter shade (01 Ivory) and then add just a bit of the BeYu Light Reflecting concealer (in the shade 3). I added the final step because it helps to reflect a bit more and makes my undereye area appear a lot more brighter and highlighted. And to set it all in place I use the wet n wild Coverall pressed powder in the shade Fair.

Ma ei hakka minema detailidesse selle kohta, kuidas ma oma nÀgu igapÀevaselt nn ette valmistan meigi jaoks, kuna mÔni aeg tegin jube selle kohta postituse siin. 

MeigipÔhjaks ei tee ma igapÀevaselt mitte midagi keerulist, kuna ma eelistan magada see 10-15 minutit selle asemel, et hakata tegema midagi keerulisemat. Ma alustan Bourjois Radience Reveal peitekreemiga. Kuna ma mÔni nÀdal tagasi ostin kogemata natuke liiga tumeda siis hetkel kasutan mitu erinevat et saavutada just selline lÔpptulemus nagu ma tahan.

Nagu mainisin siis hetkel on mul kaks Bourjoisi peitekreemi ning kÔigepealt kasutan tumedamat tooni (02 Beige) ning seejÀrel lisan ka natuke heledamat (01 Ivory). SeejÀrel panen peale ka Beyu valguspeegeldavat peitekreemi (toonis nr 3), et aidata paista silmaalustel rohkem loomuliku ja sÀravamana. Ning selleks, et kÔik jÀÀks ilusti sinna kus vaja siis kasutan ka wet n wild puudrit toonis Fair.

EYES & BROWS

After the base is done is continue on doing my eyes and brows (if I feel like doing anything with my eyes lol). If I do feel like doing something with my eyes then it’s usually as simple as possible. I am doing a either a slightly darker crease using the Makeup Revolution Iconic Elements palette or just a shimmery gold eye using the NYX Hot Singles eyeshadow in the shade Fancy That. And after I just whip on some mascara on both my upper and lower lashes.

After my eyes are all done I just take the Makeup Revolution palette again and use the dark brown and grey tones to fill in my brows. Oh and a little tip – if you don’t want to waste money on brow gels then just spray a little bit of hair spray on your spoolie and then just brush it through your brows and they are all set for the day.

PĂ€rast seda, kui meigipĂ”hi on valmis siis ma liigun edasi silmade ja kulmude juurde (juhul kui mul on viitsimist midagi ĂŒldse silmadega teha haha). Ning kui mul isegi jĂ€tkub vahest viitsimist midagi oma silmadega teha siis on see vĂ”imalikult lihtne.
Tavaliselt teen ma tavalise heleda pĂ”hja ning tumedama silma vĂ€lisnurga, et tuua silmi rohkem esile. Ning selleks kasutan ma ĂŒldiselt Makeup Revolution Iconic Elements paletti. VĂ”i kui tunnen et tahan rohkem sĂ€delecamat silma siis kasutan natukene ainult NYX Hot Singles lauvĂ€rvi nimega Fancy That. Ning pĂ€rast seda lisan ka natuke ripsmeduĆĄĆĄi nii ĂŒlemistele kui ka alumistele ripsmetele.

PĂ€rast seda kui silmad on tehtud siis vĂ”tan jĂ€llegi Makeu Revolution paletti ning kasutan sealt tumepruudi ja halli, et kulmud korda teha. Ja siin ka ĂŒks mu enda lemmik nipp – kui sa ei taha raha raisata mingisuguse kulmugeeli peale ja kodus on juukselakk olemas, siis vĂ”ta oma spoolie (eesti keeles peaks see olema vist kulmukamm?? aga igastahes see asi mis nĂ€eb vĂ€lja nagu ripsmeduĆĄĆĄi ots) ning lase lakki sinna peale. SeejĂ€rel lihtsalt kammi sellega kulmud lĂ€bi ja need jÀÀvad ilusti omale kohale terveks pĂ€evaks.

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HIGHLIGHT

To highlight my little cheekbones and add that bit of sparkle I need, I put on a bit of my Colourpop Super Shock Cheek highlighter in the color Monster which I absolutely adore. If you want to read about it more then a few months ago I wrote all my thoughts up about some of the Colourpop products I ordered and you can read it here!

Selleks, et oma pisikesi pÔsesarnu rÔhutada ning lisada sest natukest sÀra, mida vajan siis ma kasuta natukene oma Colourpop Super Shock Cheek sÀrapuudrit toonis Monster, mida ma ausalt öeldes tÀiesti jumaldan. Kui tahad selle kohta rohkem teada saada siis mul on selle kohta pÔhjalikum postitus siin!

LIPS

For my lips I just whip on some pretty natural pink color (like my essence lipstick in the shade 13 Love Me), the Baby Lips lip balm that also has that just a hint of color (in Cherry Me) or go a bit more bolder and fill in my lips using the essence lip liner in 06 Satin Mauve that is this really beautiful cooler toned purple.

Huulte jaoks kasutan tavaliselt tagasihoidlikumaid tooteid. Tavaliselt haaran ilusa roosa essence’i huulepulka (13 Love Me), Baby Lips huulepalsamit, millel on ka Ă”rn vĂ€rv juures (Cherry Me) vĂ”i kui tahan natuke julgemat vĂ€rvi kasutada siis kasutan ka essence huulepliiatsit (06 Satin Mauve), mis on hĂ€sti ilus kĂŒlmema tooniga lilla.

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Okay, I think that this is all for today and as usual let me know if you liked the post and let’s keep the conversation going by all of you commenting on what are your go-to makeup essentials that you love and use every single day (only when you go out of course, no one uses makeup when they are just sitting at home all day right?).

Igastahes, see on tĂ€naseks kĂ”ik ning hoidke vestlust ĂŒleval öeldes, millised on sinu lemmikud meigitooted hetkel, mida armsatad ning kasutad igapĂ€evaselt.

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